sick. then better.

aidan puked last night. at about 1:15am. i heard her sort of cry (i was awake bc i just fed reese) and then she burst into tears. i went to her room, she told me "i pukied, momma" and i got EJ. i laughed walking down the stairs thinking, "really? more puke?" he stripped the bed and re-made it while i gave her a bath, gave her meds, and we got her back in bed.

i could see her eyes glass over asking about 1 of her scooze-dogs having to be in the wash.

this morning she had a fever, i gave her more tylenol and she laid around. she nearly lost it when we had to put scooze into the dryer. but she liked when he was all clean. :) she likes to smell fresh laundry (well, she likes to smell anything good really lol) so she was happy.

after nap, i went up to get her.

me: hey did you pukey?
aidan: no. no pukey.
(i check her head)
me: yay no fever!
aidan: yeah. i not sick anymore!
me: wow, im so happy.
aidan: hug!
(hugs all around)
aidan: look at my belly!
(i lift up her shirt)
aidan: my belly is SO happy :) i all better.

of course, she's not ALL better. but i am glad that she hasnt yacked since this early morning.

father's day comparison.

in one year we have gone from this:




to this:




dear EJ,

thank you. thank you for being the best dad to these girls that i could possibly imagine. thank you for helping me every day when i need it. for coming home as soon as you possibly can from work to see them. for doing bath time every night so i can take a breather and you can spend some fun time with the girls and then sharing all the bedtime routine duties. thank you for cleaning up puke and poop when i start to gag. and for having no qualms with stepping up when im just in an "over it" mood. thank you for providing for our family so i can be a stay at home mom every day. my dream job for as long as i can remember. thank you for loving all of us girls the way that you do. you are the best.

the store.

::twitch::

ok, here's the thing - i love LOVE going to the grocery store with the girls.

90% of the time.

the other 10%, i think "wow, this facebook group has never been so true!!"

let's start out with GETTING to the store. i have 3 kids in carseats. none of them can FULLY put their straps on.

1. start the car from inside. bc its f'in hot here right now.
2. get stella (the "i may chew things up" JRT) in her cage. which is funny in itself and usually consists of aidan and sawyer chasing her yelling "IN YOUR CAGE, STELLA!!" lol
3. then aidan orders sawyer to "pick up the toys cobalt would eat" and they go in the toy thing that we have downstairs.
4. make sure all have shoes. well, just aidan really. lol sawyer sits in the cart so if i can't find them - eh...
5. get reese in her bucket seat.
6. head to the garage. all of us. i set reese's seat down in the garage. open up the car door for A and S and send A to the "trunk" lol (aka the third row where her seat is) and then lock S in her seat. aidan is capable of clipping her chest clip - so she does that.
7. go get reese, clip her in the base, then reach OVER her seat into the back and clip the rest of aidan's seat.
8. ::breathe:: get into my own seat.
9. put on rockin' music. ;) or "hey soul sister" aka the hey hey song according to the girls by Train. and then get to driving.
10. sing a lot.

ok so. the rest with 3 isn't so bad. as long as ive gone when they are in good moods. aka like 930-10am. ish. and try not to go past an hour. snacks, drinks, stickers, etc are a must. the bucket seat goes into the cart, sawyer sits up top, and aidan walks. and by "walks" i mean "putzes" but whatever. i would wear reese in a wrap, but the problem is that if sawyer then wants me to carry her - then id be in trouble and have no place to put reese etc etc... so anyway, i pile shiz in the cart around the bucket and then underneath. (this is if i go alone. a lot of the time, my mom meets me, we have to 2 carts and its easy breezy - usually lol) or we get the BIG carts - i'll explain that in a min.

anyway, today was one of those "10%" days. ::twitch again:: (EJ was at home with the cable guy. and hey, its father's day. he can have some quiet time, right? lol) we go in. (which requires me to carry sawyer AND the bucket. and aidan holds the bucket or my purse haha. because, i didnt care about the shoe situation when we left. oops)

aidan wants the BIG cart with the seat belts. she told me that in the car. well, its sunday - family shop day - and there are none where we enter. but we go searching for them. we grab a diet coke from the target food place and then head looking - finally find one. i strap sawyer into the seat and aidan hops in too.

reese is now hungry. oh really? now?!?! so she is crying. i pick her up and think "ok, i can hold, feed, and push this cart, right?" perfect.

i had put my diet coke on the cart thing that A and S were sitting on. annnnnnnd SPLASH. my diet coke flings to the ground. as if to mock me. and say "amanda, nice try. but this day is going to continue to be a FAIL." we *happen* to still be at the front of the store and there are paper towels right there. so i try to clean it up as best as i can while holding reese, explain to aidan its not her fault bc she keeps saying "sorry mama", and get going moving.

my mom texts me: hey we're on our way.

YES. SAVED!

sparing you the details of the rest of the time, i'll get to the other good stuff. sawyer no longer wants to sit in the cart and accidentally flings goldfish on the floor, and then she walks around barefoot. and tries to try on clothes while we shop for a new bathing suit for aidan and some summer stuff for reese. reese just wants to be held the entire time (first time ever she's been AWAKE at the store), and aidan walks around with my dad like she usually does until she wants a hot dog. sigh.

i swear to you, this stuff only happens on the wkends. during the week, its smooth sailing. its the other 90%. we have fun. we laugh. we talk about colors, food, animals, etc. i love it. it really makes me happy to have fun with them.

today, i am thanking my lucky stars for naptime :) and thats okay i think. at least im going to tell myself it is.

explaining sick.

on our way to target to meet my mom.

aidan: papa coming?

me: no, sorry babe, he's sick.

aidan: he sick like sawyer?

me: no. he has a cough like this ::fake cough::

aidan: ooooh. [thinks for a min] why?

me: well, because he caught a bug.

aidan: oh!! [confused] in his mouth?

:) i like thinking she thinks my dad ate a bug.

ahhh dreaded discipline.

i don't spank my kids. and i don't do timeouts (by definition). i dont really do much as for disciplining my kids.

that sounds horrible, doesn't it? lol well, its not. at least not to me so far. what i do with my kids (and *plan* to for the next ones) is pretty simple.

sawyer is really too young. she is mainly all about distraction. she, at not yet 2, doesn't understand some things as well as aidan. duh. of course not. that will come in time. so here's what we do for aidan, mainly.

i will set up a disclaimer first that, no, of course it doesn't work all the time. of course she has freaking meltdowns when she is overtired. of course she and sawyer still battle it out sometimes. but overall - this is what works for my 3 year old.

1. repetition. she is a child of routine. i say reminders to her 3 times or so on the way to the store. she fills in the blanks now, though. i remind her that if she doesn't want to sit in the cart, she has to walk by us (well, she can't really sit in the cart anymore bc of the 2 i have in there already). that there is no screaming. none. and that we are going to have a fun/happy time. sometimes i just say "hey, what are the rules?" and she responds with "stay by you, no screaming, and only happy!!" lol she *gets* it in theory, but still, at the store i have to remind her if she starts to wander or get whiny over nothing.

all of this is the same for wherever we go. i remind her if we go to the park that when i say we have to leave.... "we leave, momma!!" to try to preface the "i dont want to go yet!!" battles. it doesn't always work, but she understands.

i did this with "holding the car" as well for when i get the other kids out. aidan, for a long time, has been told to put her hand on the car while i grab sawyer out (thank you parent's magazine for the idea years ago). and it works. now, with another kid, its so important that she remembers - so i make sure to remind her every time (and if i forget - she lets me know she remembered)

2. praise. "aidan you are doing SUCH a good job of walking next to me!" "wow, aidan. you have been such a great helper today!" etc etc. she beams with pride. that alone helps a downward situation or an overtired kid.

3. we go places at the best times of day. i hardly expect my 3 year old and almost 2 year old to be happy if we went to the store or park before naptime or when they are hungry. thats unfair. even i am cranky at those times of day ;) i refuse to punish a kid who is acting their age. i expected too much from them and that is my own fault.

4. distractions. if i start to see a "oh no. they are getting antsy" moment on the horizon, i whip out the distractions... stickers, food, aidan's highlights magazine, games... anything that ive brought with me. at home, i can bring out coloring stuff, paint, whatever... but i *try* to pre-empt it. if i already have a crying child, they are going to basically tell me to stick that crayon where the sun don't shine during a tantrum. and then its too late.

sometimes we sing songs. ok a lot of the time. lol in the car, in the store, wherever. i am basically singing a lot of the day. but they like it. :)

5. freezes/cool down time. this is where my psuedo timeout comes in. lets say aidan hits sawyer. i tell her that "no, we dont hit our sister" first. if she does it again, i take her away from the situation and talk to her quietly and explain to her why we dont do that. its hard bc its HIGHLY likely that sawyer provoked it ;) so i just remind aidan to tell *me* when something happens so i can take care of it.

same goes for this situation: lets say we are all at the mall, or a restaurant, or the park. anywhere in public and either kid has a complete meltdown. i remove them. totally from the place. i will pick them up kicking and screaming and take them to the bathroom, off to the side, somewhere! just the 2 of us. they need some place to cool down. to forget why they had the tantrum to begin with. sometimes aidan and i will just sit in a bathroom and chat for a few mins. i remind her "we don't ______" and then we go back to what we were doing.

i hardly think that making them sit alone for some amount of time does anything. maybe. but it wouldn't for my kids so far. aidan is far too sensitive. she'd sit and cryyyyy and cry as if i just broke her heart. and sawyer (although too young anyway), wouldnt care. she has a face of "justification" when she does things. she the type of kid that says "i'll take my punishment just fine bc you deserved it!!" haha

maybe later a structured timeout would be useful? but for now - its not for us.

like i said before, this is hardly fool proof. but nothing really is when you have preschoolers and toddlers.

when we went to disney aidan had a total meltdown by day 3. total. we had both been sick with the flu or food poisoning (still dont know which) before we left and the first couple days. aidan felt better, but since we were in a hotel, we went to bed late, had no resemblance to a schedule and no naptime or quiet time - it was hard for a kid like her. so, by day 3, we were out about lunch time and playing with a group of women and their kids on a playground, which is by a body of water.

in aidan's head - she wanted to swim. in that body of water. um, lol sorry babe, no. she stripped down on the playground and then later had a near freakout of wanting to go swimming. i put her in comfy pants with i brought because, well, i know her. lol, talked to her off to the side, and then eventually just walked her around one of the stores around the corner.

she was overtired, hot, over it. but what can you do? she came back from the cool AC'd store much better. she had time to chill out.

that may not work with all kids, but it did with her. i told her we could go swimming at the hotel pool later (instead of this, uh, lake thingy) and she was okay with that (and certainly did NOT let me forget it haha).

i think you have to do what you have to do with your kids, but figuring out the *why* before acting on the action is the best approach for us. and i think people forget that their are motives - even behind a tantrum. and that finding out those motives and then seeing the signs before the tantrum happens - will make things a lot easier in the end.

lets go to bed early tonight.

EJ and i wanted to go to bed early last night. sounds like heaven, right? i had gone out with some girlfriends for drinks on saturday night, so i needed sleep. EJ cleaned/organized the kitchen yesterday (it looks awesome) and I tackled the gameroom/their bedrooms. so we were just worn out from the whole day.

at about 7:30pm, i found myself sitting in a pile of puke. on the couch. sawyer walked over to where i was feeding reese, looked at me, and the next thing i knew - im covered in everything she ate yesterday. ew. and let me say, there is no more paralyzing thing than getting puked on. you sit there thinking, "what do i do? i have to get up. should move her. my clothes are covered. omg the smell...." til you finally get up. or, rather, when i called for EJ to help me ;)

she then puked on the rug annnnnnd then again in the kitchen. this was then bath 2 for sawyer.

thank dog we have a steam cleaner. lordy.

we let her relax down stairs for a while. she is dead tired so we put her into bed. all is quiet. i check on her later, no smells, nothing from her room. she sort of wakes up, starts to cry, so i go to get her for a few mins and omg - the smell. she had puked in her bed. EJ brings the bed stuff down, i strip sawyer down. and now its bath 3.

aidan had noticed the commotion. and being the little nurse that she is, she wanted to come down and help. its about 11pm at this point. sigh. she is a sweetie and tells sawyer she loves her (even this morning, she just goes up to sawyer and rubs her head, says "i love you sawyer" and sings her songs) anyway,i now had 3 children in my room. so much for going to bed early?

sawyer continues to puke in our bed on towels. at this point its only bile. but i feel so bad bc its so crappy to throw up. just hurts.

finally - i tell aidan its time for bed and off EJ goes upstairs with her while i lay with sawyer. aidan was totally fine til he shut the door and got down the stairs. then she was livid. i hear the ruckus upstairs and grab her video monitor. she is stomping around grumbling and then... she takes her "jelly fishing net" (thanks spongebob. its just a fish tank net in real life though) and turns her light on. ugh. that wont be in her room anymore.

then i dont see her for about 30 seconds. she walks from the direction of the closet into the view of the camera. she now has on her easter dress. and panties, i assumed, bc i had seen her throw her nighttime diaper in the trash.

in full amanda form, i grab my camera and head upstairs. my deal with her - "put on a diaper and lay down and you can wear your easter dress to bed." perfect. deal done and 1 child down.



we put sawyer up in bed bc we are certain she had nothing left in her belly. we were wrong. we heard her puke again, and EJ goes to grab her. more laundry. lol

all the while, reese has been sleeping through this in the pack n play in our room. good little 1 month old :)

...until she got hungry. okay. no biggie. so i scoop her up and take her to the couch to feed her. EJ sits with sawyer on the bed and i *hear* sawyer puke from the bedroom. i run in with reese in tow, turn around and let her swing bc i DO NOT want her sick, and help EJ strip the bed and clean up sawyer. again.

i go back to feeding reese and decide that she's gonna have to sleep upstairs tonight in her room. first night ever (bc i am super lazy at night lol). its after 130am? at this point. at least. i really dont remember.

our bed is too high for sawyer to sleep on with us. it comes up to my chest-ish when standing so we make a pallet in the pack n play for sawyer. EJ sleeps on the floor, I sleep on the stripped bed with 1 blanket and we all pass out.

we wake up a few times to gagging noises and throw sawyer up onto a towel and eventually we all go to sleep for good -- well until reese wakes up at 630am to eat. while im feeding reese and EJ jumps in the shower, i hear sawyer throw up AGAIN. i throw her in the shower with EJ, finish feeding reese and eventually put sawyer back up in her own bed.

i am tired. ive already steam cleaned MORE this morning. but sawyer and reese are sleeping right now and aidan is just playing so i wanted to remember how the night went. yawn. 3 kids are fun. exciting. giggly. and there's so much love every day. its rewarding.



but it can be exhausting. and today, as i feel like i did in college after i stayed up all night during finals - while only drinking diet coke, eating cheetos, and smoking cigarettes... im mentally fried. but of course worth it, right? ;)

then don't eat it.

i say this probably every day. no, really.

as a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it, or leave it. ~buddy hackett

sawyer is somewhat like a garbage disposal. she will eat most anything.

aidan, on the other hand, has only a few food groups.

1. cheese. more so queso, but whatever. really any mexican food, including beans and rice.
2. velveeta shells and cheese.
3. carbs. like pasta, tortillas, jelly toast, grilled cheese.
(you seeing a theme?)
4. poptarts.
5. pepperoni. on pizza or not. she's not picky. *eyeroll*
6. donut holes.
7. FRUIT!!!! WIN!!! any kind. i can fill her up all day on fruits!!!
8. chicken nuggets.
9. meat from a pig. like sausage, ham, bacon... and hot dogs. i'll pretend thats from a pig to make myself feel better. ;) mooooving on...
10. cereal. luckily, her fave is special k with red berries.

ok, yes, i am being funny for blog's purposes. I DO FEED HER MORE THAN THESE ITEMS. but that doesn't mean she likes them. she tries them (sometimes). and by tries, i mean "puts it in her mouth, gags and spits it back onto the plate"... or into my hand. thats always a delightful part of being a mother.

EJ or i make dinner. and aidan will say "i no WANT that". ok, dude. "then don't eat it."

if i leave the plate in front of her, 2 things may happen: 1. it sits there. until i pick it up. 2. she eats it. but i never know which will happen.

am i a short order chef? yes. sadly, i give into that. but it depends on how much aidan has eaten all day. because, here's the deal. there are a few types of eaters, in my opinion.

1. kids who eat all the time.
2. kids who eat at meal time.
3. kids who rarely eat. and then make up for it later.

aidan is the latter. if she ate a big breakfast, she prob won't eat lunch. and then will eat a small dinner. then prob won't eat breakfast the next day, will eat lunch, and then something for dinner. so if she truly doesn't want to eat dinner - i think "well she had a big lunch" let her have an apple and some toast (if thats what she so chooses) and she's perfectly full til morning.

do i worry about it? no. i see asked online all the time "OMG MY KID DIDN'T EAT LUNCH!!! should i wake him from nap early?!!?!" <--- ok thats an exaggeration. but its similar to that sort of dramatics. sawyer is, um, lets just say #1 on my eaters list. she eats non-stop. and oddly, is my twig. her little waist fits into her last year's 12mon shorts lol she will bring a snack in the car on the way to dinner. eat tons of dinner. and then pick the rest of that snack back up on the way home. its fascinating. i never thought id have a bottomless pit after having a kid like aidan. lets use tonight as an example. aidan had a huge breakfast, didnt want to eat lunch, and then dinner time came... EJ grilled some sort of bratwurst or sausage something for sawyer. aidan wanted none of that. "then don't eat it". she wanted "QUESADILLA!!" (which, by the way, in aidan's terms, is a tortilla with a side of queso). i tossed a tortilla at her and then actually made her quesadillas lol she ate them. la dee da. which by the way i let eat in the cabinet. i do this often bc she eats more here lol (oh, and dont mind the outfit. she actually wore this to target as well - with flip flops and sunglasses hanging on the front. pick your battles...)

some might say, slip some chicken in there! really tiny pieces!! - fail. tried that. she feared the quesadillas that i made for about 2 weeks until i proved to her that it really was only cheese and tort. sigh.

so anyway, im up for recs for kids like her :) but if not, just take note that your kid isn't the only "bad eater". your kid is also NOT going to die if he doesn't eat dinner. kids eat when they are hungry. some are more hungry than others. i promise.