things ill miss.

ive complained a lot this pregnancy. i am tired, but cant sleep. i have antsy legs, so i go to the gym (which helps!!) annnnd then im worn out. <--- see how much complaining lol

im also crazy. EJ wanted to video tape my *freak out* the other night over dishes in the kitchen -- something that is not even the tiniest of a big deal and i was laughably insane. i went ballistic the other night bc i couldnt find my phone before bed (but needed the alarm for the morn) - so i looked around... and then again... then longer. i finally gave up, got into bed, and there it was ::twitch:: i burst into tears and then laughed so hard with EJ.

last night i had a hamstring cramp so bad that i woke up and cried, probably scaring EJ half to death, and then it wouldnt go away. it was horrible. but then i think about this pregnancy ending and i get so "ho hum" about it.

i will miss:

1. wondering "was that a kick?! is that the baby!!?" at the beginning. no matter how many kids you have - that question (and realization that its prob gas bubbles) is still fun.

2. finding out the gender. even if all the answers have been the same, its still shocking ;) i scheduled an early u/s this time bc i simply LOVE that announcement. EJ was able to come without taking off work, ASR came (and tortured us the entire time lol it was not a relaxing u/s), and i just waited for that moment that finally we could put a gender to the baby. finally pick a definite name.

3. choosing a name. the conversations with EJ, the laughing about choices, bouncing ideas off other people, thinking about how that kid will be, etc. and then, finally, deciding... and calling her that. and telling the kids "who" she is. having aidan and sawyer refer to this one as "miller" is just the best. they love HER already.

4. having the kids and EJ experience things with me. aidan and sawyer have been to several dr appts with me. sawyer isnt as interested as aidan is -- aidan is just... fascinated. she likes to listen to the heartbeat, she loves the ultrasounds, she can tell anyone *where* miller is in my belly (ie: "her heart is here, her head is down here, her legs are over here....) bc she watched the dr :) sawyer and aidan both love my baby belly (although sawyer is more interested in poking my new outtie than anything else lol) and feel kicks. i love when EJ can finally feel her move, too. especially later when my belly can be seen moving from across the room. and he can feel her go nuts in there - like at night when i just want to rock her to sleep inside my belly bc thats when she goes the craziest haha

5. watching my belly move from the outside. it *never* ceases to amaze me. to watch it roll, stick out inches on one side, feel a foot push out and then back, to watch it get soooo big on one side then BAM - move to the other side... its just awesome.

im sure if i had written this post with little bullets throughout the past months, id have a list of 2039482039482. but as someone who still pukes sometimes (and did for about 3+ months the first/second tri), who just wants to take a nap when the girls do - but then, instead, i do laundry and cook dinner (ok. most of the time lol), who still has some business to wrap up before i go on "official" maternity leave (editing, another shoot, prints to go out, sales taxes, and then fed taxes bc i dont want to be doing that in feb lol).... anyway, because of some of those things, im slightly jaded until i get that baby in my arms ;)

oh, and another thing i KNOW i'll miss already -- that 15 mins between pushing out a baby, holding your baby, realizing you have another baby, listening to her cry, seeing her sweet face, all of it.... its surreal. and amazing. and i immediately want to do it again. just those few mins of birth. when you see who youve had months to fall in love with.

im excited to see whats in store for our soon-to-be family of 6. i am already trying to figure out logistics ;) ive said before that i think 1 to 2 kids was the hardest. 2 to 3 wasnt bad (but lets be honest - i had reese. who is THE most laid back cool baby ever - so 2 to 3 might have been horrid). so i am anxious to see 3 to 4. i have a few other friends who *just* had their 4ths and... yeah, its hard! (ok not for one friend - she got a reese for #4 lol lucky duck).

im sure ill continue hilarity on my FB of my ups and downs. most of you see my ::twitch:: and ::kaboom:: from my head exploding on days where i just... cant... handle it LOL but i wouldnt change anything for the world. its all about your attitude :) easier said than done, but i certainly try.

red light.

so i figured since i babbled all over my facebook about it, i should explain our new added "crunch".

first, let me start with what happened a week ago at sawyer's school. that sort of kick started this whole thing.

so sawyer is overall.... apathetic to punishment. like, you could tell her "get upstairs or ill throw your lovey in the trash" and she'd tell you to toss it. in school, they have colors on how theyre doing that day and she doesn't give 2 shits. like "cool. i got a yellow". or the threat of it doesnt phase her. sawyer had a bad week last week at school - but i mainly attributed it to A and S moving into the same bedroom that wkend before (pics on my TYLWL blog). and, well, they are re-learning how to fall asleep on their own LOL so i gave the teacher some ideas on what *i* would do with sawyer in those situations (hey, she asked!). and waited for the change.

now, is this 3 year old behavior? sure. but at the same time, i read about red dye in foods, on another board. hmmmm. so i looked up some more info.

http://www.red40.com/

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd/2010/09/the-red-dye-diet-the-concept/

http://reddyefree.blogspot.com/

the last blog was interesting, mainly bc of the comments on some of the entries. so many people had behavioral changes as well as other changes in their children.

so i figured, well, sometimes sawyer's a nut case ;) sometimes aidan is. lol more like "over-reactive flip outs for no reason" which usually are from overtired kids, but sometimes.... i wonder... ;)

anyway. so sunday of this week. my mom and i went grocery shopping.

if you eat pretty "clean", most of your food, likely, doesnt have red dye. but its the "treat" foods that are bad - the crap cereal, fruit snacks, etc. and sneaky things.

for instance:
*eggo cinnamon waffles do not have dye. but the blueberry does (didnt check others).
*regular chocolate syrup has red dye. sugar free does not. that works for us already lol
*lots of fun cereals do not have red dye (like kix! or chex!) but some "good" ones do - like special k with red berries.
*most of the fruit snacks have red dye, but there was one we found that didnt.
*some things that are meant to look "golden" have red and yellow dye - like pillsbury croissants. (which sucks. bc i can sneak anything into a croissant and get them to eat it - veggies, meat... gah. and i am uncertain to how easy that is to just whip up lol)

etc etc.

so you just have to be careful. keep an eye out.

as for behavior changes, i dunno. ill watch. she did have a fabulous week at school. which makes me smile. but the biggest change has been HER SKIN.

sawyer's entire mid-section was rough, scaly, patchy.. the dr always said eczema. so we'd put creams, oils, we put on some food oil that she told us to do lol sigh.

but less than 1 week without red dye and POOF! her skin is glorious. is it as soft has her sweet little face? not yet. but the eczema is barely there. its amazing. really.

and fyi, this stuff is normally "not me". but since sawyer is already sensitive to so many things, and we've rotated so many level 2s and 3s back (with good results! as she has gained so much weight in the past year!)

so anyway. check into it, maybe? if you have any questions, i may not be able to answer them but ill try :)

your perfect family.

so we found out yesterday that baby 4 is a GIRL!!! :)

pics posted: http://www.thisyearslovewilllast.com/2011/08/its.html

since then, the comments on wanting a girl have been super interesting. its fascinating to see how people's own views of a "perfect" family are projected on others.

the minute i found out i was pregnant, i wanted another girl. i told my mom a couple of weeks ago that if they said boy, id have that few mins of "oh. hmm." and would need a pick me up. that boys are loud and rough. and that when i go to the chickfila play area, i pray that i'd have a boy different than all other boys. she reminded me about babygap boys clothes and i felt a bit better lol but not totally convinced.

i looked at aidan and sawyer and saw how they are together. remembering that aidan goes to kindy in 2012 and sawyer the year after, how i would love a sister still at the house for reese. swoon. and aidan, ohhhh aidan. yesterday on the way to the u/s we said "well it could be a brother!!!!" all excited that the option was there for her!! and she actually cried ::dies:: "but i want another sister...." well good. God knew :)

i smiled when moms of boys said "you neeeeeed a boy. nothing is like a momma's boy!!" but inside, i knew our house. i know are dynamics. i know we love putting on princess dresses and painting nails (which, of course, a boy could do if he wanted, but from what friends say -- most arent in the mood for that lol) i have 2 friends who are pregnant with their 4th girl and people have actually said *condolences* to them. like "oh man im sorry....". wtf. its insane what comes out of people's mouths sometimes.

when we heard girl yesterday, EJ had that minute of "oh. hmm." by the time we got in the car, we were making jokes and chatting about it and by yesterday afternoon, he was just as excited as me. its okay to be slightly disappointed. i know he thought just maybe, itd be a boy :) but God knows what our family is supposed to be.

ive always said, if i had 3 boys, i would craaaave a girl for the 4th. hell - if i had ONE boy only, id think id want a girl. but now i wonder if thats true. i have friends with boys and they have no interest for a girl, really. i think thats insane - how could you not want a GIRL!? but thats how they look at us and boys :) that reminds me how different everyone is.

we have 4 kids bc we want them. if we were TRYING for a gender, i would have done things to actually try for one or the other lol - like chart, or temp, and have sex on O day only instead of all of the days leading up. there are "methods" for boy and girl making and you'd think if a boy was on our mind we would have, oh, thought about trying those things for fun? lol

4 kids isnt the measure of how many it took to try to get a certain gender. a perfect family is not always a mix. a complete family is different for everyone. this is my family - what i had prayed for. what i had hoped for. there's no reason to believe otherwise. i said up above that EJ had that pang of disappointment ::shrug:: why wouldnt i say the same thing about myself if it were true? haha

so get ready, my friends, for this girl house. ive been reminded that ill need a few more closets and bathrooms, and a lot more patience as they get older ;) we'll see. either way. im excited for whats to come.

dear sawyer.

you are 3 now. wow.



lets recap a bit.

you are sassy. thats for sure. you have your own way of doing things and dont care what anyone else says.

you are sensitive. while so so tough, you can burst into tears over something small.

you are demanding. dear lord. your screams could pop an ear drum. and when you have your mind set on something, almost NOTHING will calm you down except for what you want.

you are funny. a silly silly girl all of the time. people love to know you. they love to have you around.





you dont let anyone mess with you. or your sisters. we were at target recently and some 2 year old (ish) boy was looking or talking to reese. all we heard you say was "dont talk to my sister" LOL you will go up to older kids at a playplace and tell them "be nice to my sister!!" if aidan is feeling a little sad. when another kid is rude to you, or pushes you, you get this look on your face like "are you for real?" hahaha oh man, im laughing thinking about it.

its so fun to watch how different you are from aidan. so opposite in so many things, but you are a copy cat to almost everything she does. you two fight like no one else could, but in the same breath, you are best friends - aidan can fix you right up in 2 seconds. she can change your mind, she can make you happy, she is sometimes the ONLY person you want to do anything with or for you. sometimes, you two will just say that you miss the other one at bedtime. it makes my heart swell.



you have gained weight this past year (thank heavens) and your hair is so much longer now. your vocabulary is above and beyond, but i am not surprised considering how well you could talk 18 months ago. you sleep extremely well - from about 730pm til 830am. lazy face. and still take a hefty 2-3 hr nap during the afternoon. :)

i dont know how much more i can say except that i love you.


you have such a piece of my heart and i melt every time you say "i love you mommy" and give me a kiss. i smile every time you randomly come up and say "i so happy!!"

so let me just say, sassy pants, that i love you and can't wait to watch you grow every day. youre my soul and light up my day constantly.


love, mommy.

crib to bed.

so we all know (well some of you may) that i dont transition from a crib to a bed for a while. if they can get out, i tent. (well, being fully honest, i tent BEFORE they can get out lol i started with aidan bc the cat would sneak into her room. it worked so well, i did it with sawyer, too).

aren't you glad i figured out white balance and focus the past few years? geesh.






and this is what sawyer's room looked like a little over a year ago - soon after we took the glider out, got her a new white dresser, etc.


anyway, when they get a little closer to 3, i give it a chance. basically, when a few months before aidan turned 3, we moved into this house. so we got her this bed



and then let her choose between crib and bed for a while. until she said bed - then we replaced her crb with the dollhouse. then it was fine :)

well, sawyer began to cause, um, trouble with her crib tent. she'd lean on it too much, and uhhh try to SIT up on the ledge of her crib and relax on the crib tent itself LOL so it was time.

sawyer's room is smaller than aidan's so i couldnt fit both a bed and a crib in (like i did with A). we just took the front off of her crib and converted it down.



we put some of her toys in here


and she was happy.


....at first.

she crawled into bed with her blankie and cuddled up. until the storm we're having tonight got louder. she burst into tears (which she'd do even if in her crib) and so i went back in. i read her a book and then tried to leave. nope. "i waaaant you" through the tears. so i brought some toys down from her fun area and tried to get her to play. within mins, she was so scared of the storm, that we had the best/worst idea EVER.

move her to aidan's room.

so now, i have my 4.5 year old and my almost 3 year old in aidan's bed watching madagascar 2. giggling. tattling through the monitor (we swapped the video one in there tonight). and laying in bed <3

we'll they SLEEP there? who knows. but aidan told sawyer not to be scared. that they are best friends. and that "i will 'atect you, sister" (protect. obvs.) so we'll see.

eventually we'd move them together, im sure. and aidan's room is big enough to put sawyer's crib/now toddler bed in so..... ::shrug::

sisters.

i am truly blessed to have 3 girls. i, myself, only have 2 brothers. i never had that "sister relationship" that some girls talk about.

i know that it consists, later, of fighting over clothes, slamming doors, possible hair pulling, etc but for now....

the girls were taking a nap. sawyer starts crying so I grab some diapers to go grab them all and play in the gameroom. a few seconds after sawyer wakes up in tears, aidan yells from her room "its okay sawyer!!"

by then im up the stairs and grab aidan and head to sawyer's room. sawyer gets out of bed and tells aidan: "i need you. i need my sister"

swoon.

i about melt. aidan gives her a hug and sawyer continues: "i missed you aidan. i need a kiss." aidan kisses her and we grab reese and run off to the gameroom.

they may make each other nuts sometimes, but man.... hearing them talk to each other that way makes my heart pitter patter every time.

sawyer's hair.

a year ago, this was sawyer.




sweet, sweet baby. but... not a lot of hair. in august when we found out about her allergies/sensitivities to the MAIN liquid we were giving her (soy) and other things (you can read about it HERE), she started to get those vitamins in her system and grow those curly locks!!

this was the day we let her eat cheese without worrying that she'd smell like a barnyard


but now?! holy hair ::swoon::

a little bedhead :)


brushing it out (cell pic)


sweaty and wet.


windblown.


perfectly curly with a clip.


and today.... drumroll.....

PIGTAILS!!!




she has also gained at LEAST 5-6lbs since last late summer :) YAY!!



eta: i should probably note that 1. that stripey hoodie is her fave shirt. and 2. that tan/greenish dress is her fave dress. so dont fear if you seem them often LOL

(dont forget to vote for us with the top pink button on the right hand side!!)

i disowned them.

a story i forgot about.

so we're in a fabric store. the whole family. i have aidan and reese in my cart and EJ has sawyer.

i get the things i need and we're planning out the rest of the day. sawyer/EJ are in front of me and we're just chillin in line. in our 2 carts.

i hear sawyer tell EJ "i sick". then HURL.

she pukes out from the cart and on to the floor. omg. seriously?

so i give EJ the "get her the eff out of here" look. duly noted. and he goes.

no one saw her puke. ::paranoia::

so im next in line. get up to the counter. and say (omg. lol)

"did you see? that kid just threw up!"
"oh wow! where?"
"right there. but then i think they ran out to clean her up"
"ok. hey! did you see we need a mop."
"yeah. gross."

LOL then i walk outside. EJ was on his way BACK in to clean it up. but they had already done it.

i disowned my own family to buy fabric. i did. lol oops.

gluten free life.

ok, in case youre wondering - it sucks!! ta-daaaa!!!

its a lot harder than i thought it would be. of course.

so here is where i ask for recipes :)

what we love so far:

1. deboles pasta.
2. rice pizza crust. it actually comes out delicious and crispy.



i did some oil, garlic powder, then some sauce and cheese. then on aidan's, i put turkey pepperoni! (sawyer cant have turkey) - and they were great!!

3. kinnikinnick donuts. they are frozen so you can just have 1 once in a while. its nice bc about 1x a month, EJ takes aidan to go get donuts before sawyer and reese wake up. so i can give sawyer her own :) she gave it 2 thumbs up!



4. glutino pretzels. they are so good. omg. totally better than normal pretzels, but since they are almost $6/bag, i refrain from eating them. lol

5. gluten free bread is okay. its frozen. (made by kinnikinnick as well), but its alright for what sawyer needs bread for. which is basically only jelly toast for breakfast. she doesn't really like sandwiches. its a pain in the ass to break off, but we only usually need one piece at a time :) i will say that its better than letting it go to waste - considering its over $7 for a 1/2 loaf! ha!

6. van's waffles. eh... these are okay. only okay. they get a little bit... i dont know the word... piecey? lol just not the same texture.

7. blue diamond crackers. SO GOOD!! i have to hide these from EJ. ;)

okay, im sure there are things im forgetting, but other than that, sawyer eats a lot of fruits, some veggies (not her fave. sigh), and meat.

with meat, she has to to a pill. an enzyme that tell her body "no. this is good. dont poop it out right away!!" and so far. this is because she has a sensitivity to all meat, fish, poultry, nuts, and grains. so for those - a pill, it is!

PLUS she takes her probiotic in the mornings. and now that she can have dairy - cheese and yogurt are, hopefully, fattening her up ;)

OH!!! and another great recipe is homemade chicken nuggets (courtesy of my friend kristi)!! okay, well, i only got so sample them bc the oven's heating element caught on fire when i made these and my new oven doesnt come til the 21st, BUT - chicken, honey, and crushed up cornflakes. divine. crunchy and so good! and sawyer ate them right up!

***note to cookers - GF pasta and some other stuff takes a helluva lot longer to cook than the package says. haha just an FYI.

oh and ETA: the other stuff is easy to keep her away from. some of this stuff may contain soy waaaayyy down the ingredient list, but it has been okay so far.

sawyer's poops.

well the problem is solved, my friends.

i, and dh, have been slowly ruining our 2 year olds body bc we assumed she had a dairy allergy and fed her soy.

oddly enough - she has a soy allergy/sensitivity. ok. really?

after her horrible blood test (started off great, but then she wasnt giving enough blood so they had to root around and i wanted to cry for her), we got her results back (appt to talk about them next week). but here are her top sensitivities.


level 3.
soy
garbanzo beans (chickpeas)
fennel (the spice)

level 2.
horseradish
cantelope
cashews
tuna
sole
lobster
turkey
eggs (we knew this! phew!)
and gluten.

gahhhh!!

so they said to start eliminating things. oh, and what a time sawyer has had with dairy products (yes, im trying to give them to her sparingly so she gets used to more dairy). but dear heavens our whole pantry is changing bc of the gluten.

and, let me remind you, food for kids like her is pricey. i was actually surprised lol i had barely anything in my house that had no wheat. so my mom and i did a lot of shopping and searching and at least found some things to start her off right :)

BUT just in the past 2 days of doing this - she has not had one blow out. just one or 2 NORMAL poops. which is so nice. haha i guess this falls into YKYAPW, right? talking about your kids poops is gross, but im so happy that now we know all these things and she can gain some weight :)

so. starting off - 2 years old and 21 lbs. lets see if we can chunk her up in a good way :)

daddy at work.

aidan and sawyer have learned "daddy at work" during the week. sometimes they ask in the morning. sometimes sawyer asks "where's daddy?" and aidan tells her "he at work", etc.

aidan has asked "why he go to work?" to which i reply "he has to make us monies!" she asks why and i tell list off things she likes - "for chikfila and target. and pet shops!"

so today at the store i was listening to aidan and sawyer chat. i mentioned i should find my phone bc "daddy might call". sawyer says "daddy at work" and aidan says "yeah, he has to get us monies. he does this..." and then she makes a hand motion of picking things up. as if she really thinks that he leaves the house, drives to "work", and then picks up money from somewhere all day. LOL

i said "wait. babe. do you think he PICKS UP money all day?" she said yes. i giggled and thought - wow, what a job that would be!

at the same time i remembered those birthday parties at skating rinks when youre like, oh, 10? maybe? where you were put in the money box thing where it blew dollar bills around hahaha

sigh. another day.

im gonna go ahead and say this to be true - if your day starts with poop, it will end poopy.

this morning, i collected all of sawyer's poop samples and packed them into the car to run it to the pedi's office. which, by the way, is not super close. its not a big deal usually bc i only take them there for well-checks. but running over there to run in for 3 seconds is annoying.

then we went to target. this part of my day was actually FANTASTIC. they were all so good. they were in the BIG cart, A and S sat in the 2 seats at the front and R was in the bucket. all went smoothly, we got out with only having to hush them with goldfish. overall = win.

we ate lunch. i put them down for naps. i putzed.

then i decided to go pick up some prints from costco. if youre wondering "why costco" it was a test. lol i had heard they were "okay" for prints, but they are actually really good. i was shocked. considering you get them next day.

well - not that i actually TOOK my prints home... let me back up. we get in the car after naps and go to sonic happy hour :) then we head to costco. its about 3ish? or so and so for a friday - traffic is picking up bc people leave work early. anyway, its 105* out and i want to die. we search for a parking spot for, like 7 mins (whodathunk costco would be that busy), i find a cart and then we go in. i survey my prints, im happy bc, well, they are $2.99 for an 11x14 (and i only need these prints for 1 day in september for their school bazaar thing) and i try to pay.

i only TRIED to pay bc costco only takes cash, check, debit, or amex. ok, so no credit? wtf? i dont know my PIN number, dont carry cash, and checks? huh? so i have to LEAVE THEM THERE and come back tomorrow. kill me.

so then we leave. my car still says its 105 out. we drive home as it gets darker and darker and then temp drops to 73 at our house (15 mins). it has stormed. annnnnd it tore up our backyard. GAH!

i call EJ and cry (lol), he says i must be pregnant for being this emotional, we all giggle about that, and then its dinner, bath, bed.

overall, good day? lol it wasn't bad. but i was just cranky. and i needed to vent. i feel better now :)

YKYAPW.

i missed this on saturday bc of the busy wkend. but thats okay bc i have one from yesterday.


long story short, sawyer is skinny. 21 lbs at her 2 year appt (less than 1%ile for weight. but still 70%ile for height!). when i talked to the pedi about her poops (a lot and not often solid) we decided to (brace yourself) collect samples from her poop for 3 days and send it off - so we can see if, perhaps, she is simply not absorbing any food/nutrients/etc.





gross, huh? so ive done it twice now. and im just waiting for day three tomo ;)

i feel so bad for my baby though. i knew she was tiny - and we were going to do allergy testing at her appt to see if that was it. but instead will do this test and then LATER we're going to do a food sensitivity test as well. this should fatten her up in no time :)

birthday parties.

so.

we always have bday parties for the kids. always. for a few reasons.

1. we dont have a lot of friends with kids so its a reason for all of us to get together and have a great time.

2. the kids LOVE our friends and vice versa. so having them all there in one place at one time is phenomenal.

3. good food and good drinks. yep.

so sawyer and EJ's combo bday party was sunday. so much fun. we DID, actually, have kids there this time - some cousins, aidan's best friend, etc - so that was nice :) my parents and brother/sil were there. we had a nice baby station set up for reese and rylan (my new niece) lol

and we had yummies.

our snackies included (not all made by me. no way lol my mom and friends brought lots of stuff):

7 layer dip
buffalo chicken dip
mini-philly things
cream cheese/olive dip
little weenie pigs in a blanket things
sliders with all the "stuff"
cake
mojitos
beer
lots of wine
and all the sodas, chips, pretzels, etc.


yep. divine. my diet of the past 2 days has consisted of the extras. and thats okay by me. you can go to my other blog to check out some pics :)

things in sawyer's crib.

i took inventory this afternoon.



it seems as if she has:

1. four blankets - 2 that are hers, 1 is reese's, and 1 that is aidan's.
2. her lamb lovey.
3. a chicken little soft book.
4. sesame street counting book.
5. a blackberry.
6. a garmin GPS.
7. five mega blocks.
8. an incredible hulk action figure.

pick your battles ;)

dear paci.

dearest soothie,

your green (and later, blue and pink) translucent sheen has covered my middle child's face for long enough. her teeth and palette have grown fond of you - and even made a nice comfy form fitting home for your rubber (is that what it is? lol) shape.

my deepest apologies for cutting a large hole in your tip on saturday, but its tuesday now and it seems sawyer has forgotten about you.

through the tears, sawyer conning to come "downstairs" for a "nack" or to try to play in the "gameroom, peeeese!", and lack of naptimes - i can safely say that im 95% sure we dont need you anymore.

it was hard. it was. sawyer told me you were "broken. need new paci!" at first. but since sawyer has gone to bed without her beloved paci for 2 nights now without a fight, i am confident that naps will continue to go back to normal and that life will resume without you.

sincerely yours,
amanda.



now. for the *how*.

i was tickling sawyer and playing around in our bedroom on sat. she was laughing hard and i look into her mouth and see exactly what that bastard of a paci has done. so that was it :) i had EJ cut a whole in the top of one and only let her have that at bedtime.

it was rough going on sat/sunday nights. we'd have to bring her down and wear her out a bit more (she is not a very good self soother. never has been. she's just the type of kid to settle down MORE if she could have a few mins of time with us alone... then she's good to go back to bed).

monday/tues nights she went to bed perfect. :) so we'll see how it goes. the only things we have to do now is be on the look out for stashed pacis ;) who knows where she has them! lol so i have to catch them before she does!

what are your great paci transition stories? do tell!

in case you needed some more convincing.

of why 2 under 2 is fabulous.

watch the girls here.

singing my AB's.

no. not ABC's. my kids say AB's.

i went into sawyer's room tonight bc she was crying. we go and sit in her rocking chair.

sawyer: AB's?

me: ok. (singing) A B C D -

sawyer: NO!! (long pause) AB's? (sad face)

me: A B C -

sawyer: NO!! (long pause) YES!!! AB's? (sad)

(this goes on for many many minutes)

me: A B C D -

sawyer: NO!! (stares at me) where your ear!?

LOL kids get so distracted.

2under2. twice.

aidan and sawyer are 19.5 months apart.

sawyer and reese are 21.5 months apart.

perfect, in my opinion. and i would not have it any other way :)

some days are crazy. some days i want to curl up and sleep. some days are filled with 100% fun. some days are lazy. some days are busy with errand after errand. but EVERY day is filled with sisterly love.

its amazing to watch, really. aidan and sawyer are the best of friends.


they love reese. if you were at my house and said goodbye to A and S and didnt say goodbye to reese - they would remind you.

they kiss and hug each other for no reason. or just walk up to reese and tickle her. i love having close in age sisters (well right now at least. talk to me when they are 13, almost 15, and 16.5 haha)

anyway, there a few things that i've learned in the past few years that helped me transition into life with 2 under 2. twice.

1. chinese fire drill. well, thats what it sort of seems like getting kids in and out of the car. now i put reese in, aidan gets in and does her chest clip, i get sawyer in, then i reach and finish aidan's buckle. phew. but getting OUT is a different story. i grab reese's bucket and unhook aidan. then they both come with me to sawyer's side. aidan has been taught to "hold the car". always. i started doing this so long ago and now it is 2nd nature).

2. one thing that i always tried to remember when having a toddler and a newborn is: if both kids are sad - grab the toddler first. your newborn wont remember that it took you 5 seconds to hug your toddler. but your toddler WILL remember that you picked the new baby first.

3. when feeding the baby, have a box or bag or something new and fun for your toddler. something that you bring out only when you are feeding the baby so your toddler has something fun to do! new markers, paper, fun stickers, etc... it will distract them from the fact that you have to take a few mins to tend to someone else (when, i mean, theyve never had that before lol).

4. give your oldest jobs for the baby. my kids love to help pick out clothes, get diapers and even FEED reese :)


and its worth it to let them try to do all of those things - bc then they feel so wanted. when i was BFing reese, i gave aidan the job to tickle her feet so reese would stay awake! lol something simple, but she felt a "part" of it all.

5. prepare. and prepare early enough so your older kid has no idea things are related to the new baby. if youre gonna switch rooms, switch beds, take away the bottle or paci (thats for another post though lol) then do it long before your due date.

6. dont give too much freedom too early. i know a lot of people think "oh yay! i'll let my 18 month old stand in the cart!!" ok, well great, now what are you going to do when you dont want to wear your newborn and you want to put the bucket in there? or "woohoo! my 16 mo old can walk next to me at the store!" ok, cool - so how exactly are you going to chase him when he decides to walk the other way when you have a newborn sitting right there?

but then again, im of the vein "if it ain't broken - dont fix it". i keep my kids in carts until they straight up can step out themselves. lol my kids stay in cribs until they want to have a bed. ::shrug::

7. when walking into a store or somewhere, every kid has to be touching me or part of the group while walking. right now, i carry sawyer AND the bucket and aidan holds on to reese's seat. but if i wanted sawyer to walk then she'd be holding my hand while i held the bucket and aidan held that. i get twitchy when i see toddlers just putzing along without hold on to anyone.

8. make sure you make time for yourself. shower every day. get ready and GO OUT! 2u2 will make your head spin if you sit at home every day. put on some makeup - even if youre not in the mood to. go get a mani/pedi during naptime when your dh is home. SOMETHING for yourself.

im lucky bc i get to do things pretty much whenever i want to. of course i dont always want to ;) but if a friend asked me out for drinks one night - then likliness would be high that i could/would go. at least for a little bit. if i didnt have relaxation time - i would go nuts. even when friends come over, its such a fun nice release :)

9. schedule your day. essentially, 2u2 is no different than 1 (routine wise) if you have a rough schedule. youre just adding one more body. 1 more kid to feed. 1 more to change and get dressed. 1 more kid to bathe and put to bed. its a lot easier to take in if you look at it that way. our routine is crucial to our day. it can be as lax as "craft or store in the mornings" but something IS more or less "planned". we aren't just putzing around (most of the time) all willy nilly ;)

10. have fun. just relax. if you need to do housework - do it as a game. fold laundry together and talk about colors. have a ball mopping the floor and giggling. whatever it takes - have fun :)

lets go to bed early tonight.

EJ and i wanted to go to bed early last night. sounds like heaven, right? i had gone out with some girlfriends for drinks on saturday night, so i needed sleep. EJ cleaned/organized the kitchen yesterday (it looks awesome) and I tackled the gameroom/their bedrooms. so we were just worn out from the whole day.

at about 7:30pm, i found myself sitting in a pile of puke. on the couch. sawyer walked over to where i was feeding reese, looked at me, and the next thing i knew - im covered in everything she ate yesterday. ew. and let me say, there is no more paralyzing thing than getting puked on. you sit there thinking, "what do i do? i have to get up. should move her. my clothes are covered. omg the smell...." til you finally get up. or, rather, when i called for EJ to help me ;)

she then puked on the rug annnnnnd then again in the kitchen. this was then bath 2 for sawyer.

thank dog we have a steam cleaner. lordy.

we let her relax down stairs for a while. she is dead tired so we put her into bed. all is quiet. i check on her later, no smells, nothing from her room. she sort of wakes up, starts to cry, so i go to get her for a few mins and omg - the smell. she had puked in her bed. EJ brings the bed stuff down, i strip sawyer down. and now its bath 3.

aidan had noticed the commotion. and being the little nurse that she is, she wanted to come down and help. its about 11pm at this point. sigh. she is a sweetie and tells sawyer she loves her (even this morning, she just goes up to sawyer and rubs her head, says "i love you sawyer" and sings her songs) anyway,i now had 3 children in my room. so much for going to bed early?

sawyer continues to puke in our bed on towels. at this point its only bile. but i feel so bad bc its so crappy to throw up. just hurts.

finally - i tell aidan its time for bed and off EJ goes upstairs with her while i lay with sawyer. aidan was totally fine til he shut the door and got down the stairs. then she was livid. i hear the ruckus upstairs and grab her video monitor. she is stomping around grumbling and then... she takes her "jelly fishing net" (thanks spongebob. its just a fish tank net in real life though) and turns her light on. ugh. that wont be in her room anymore.

then i dont see her for about 30 seconds. she walks from the direction of the closet into the view of the camera. she now has on her easter dress. and panties, i assumed, bc i had seen her throw her nighttime diaper in the trash.

in full amanda form, i grab my camera and head upstairs. my deal with her - "put on a diaper and lay down and you can wear your easter dress to bed." perfect. deal done and 1 child down.



we put sawyer up in bed bc we are certain she had nothing left in her belly. we were wrong. we heard her puke again, and EJ goes to grab her. more laundry. lol

all the while, reese has been sleeping through this in the pack n play in our room. good little 1 month old :)

...until she got hungry. okay. no biggie. so i scoop her up and take her to the couch to feed her. EJ sits with sawyer on the bed and i *hear* sawyer puke from the bedroom. i run in with reese in tow, turn around and let her swing bc i DO NOT want her sick, and help EJ strip the bed and clean up sawyer. again.

i go back to feeding reese and decide that she's gonna have to sleep upstairs tonight in her room. first night ever (bc i am super lazy at night lol). its after 130am? at this point. at least. i really dont remember.

our bed is too high for sawyer to sleep on with us. it comes up to my chest-ish when standing so we make a pallet in the pack n play for sawyer. EJ sleeps on the floor, I sleep on the stripped bed with 1 blanket and we all pass out.

we wake up a few times to gagging noises and throw sawyer up onto a towel and eventually we all go to sleep for good -- well until reese wakes up at 630am to eat. while im feeding reese and EJ jumps in the shower, i hear sawyer throw up AGAIN. i throw her in the shower with EJ, finish feeding reese and eventually put sawyer back up in her own bed.

i am tired. ive already steam cleaned MORE this morning. but sawyer and reese are sleeping right now and aidan is just playing so i wanted to remember how the night went. yawn. 3 kids are fun. exciting. giggly. and there's so much love every day. its rewarding.



but it can be exhausting. and today, as i feel like i did in college after i stayed up all night during finals - while only drinking diet coke, eating cheetos, and smoking cigarettes... im mentally fried. but of course worth it, right? ;)