me time.

after reading so many baby message boards, i realize moms do jack shiz for themselves. its sad. i dont know whether its a martyr complex: "omg. but my baby NEEDS ME all the time!!!" or if they simply dont know how to get away for 5 mins and just... relax. so here are a few ideas that dont take much time (ok, some might, but whatever) that at least give you a few moments of "ahhhh..."

1. take a shower and put your make-up on. do your hair. get dressed. GET READY FOR THE DAY. you have no idea how much better this will make you feel. dont say how tired you are. dont say there's not point "im only going to the store". do it. you will feel pretty. you will feel more "you". and it will be worth it. how many (newborn) months have you worn those same PJ pants when your husband gets home? you've pretty much lost your mascara, havent you? sigh. find it. feel good - look good.

2. go to the gym. or at least workout. the boost you will get will be tremendous. besides the fact that you will have more energy, you will feel/look better in no time. there's something about a good workout that makes you just feel better about yourself. and if youre worried about the daycare at the gym - balls up, dude. find one that you trust and move on. we've been going to the same place since aidan was 5 mo old. sawyer and reese both started the day after they turned 3 months. they know my kids, love them, and i trust them completely.

i also have... wait for it... friends at the gym. omg, right? a whole 1-2 hrs of talking to adults!! yahooo!! that alone is worth the $85/month. the time spent just relaxing and doing something for yourself is worth it.

3. read a book. your kid has to sleep sometime, right? go into your room and read. how good does it feel to forget about anything going on and entrap yourself in a character whom you dont even know. to live their life. to love what they love. to cry when they cry. maybe thats why i was a literature major... to feel how others feel in situations that i will never be in. its amazing. and just relaxing.

4. go to the store alone. you all know that i truly do love to take my 3 to the store. its fun. without them, i get bored. BUT it can be simply surreal to go to the store... and putz. lol go when your husband gets home and the kids are in bed. even if its late ;)

5. buy some skivvies ;) sex it up! on that note, i'll add to this one - have sex. often. even if you dont feel like the sexiest woman in the world - you are. your husband loves you - no matter what (usually. ok im kidding). you may be tired, but just tryyyyyy to get in the mood. once you start, im sure things will progress nicely and you wont forget it.

i never understand when i read that married couples havent had sex in months.

what? how?

youre tired? really? 15-20mins (ok - im underestimating here. or maybe overestimating for you lol) isn't going to kill you. and you'll feel better. sex is a very important part of any marriage. and just throwing it to the side bc "uggghhhh bc i have a BABY!! and i am tired!!" seems so... ridiculous. make out, cuddle, do it. :)

6. go on date nights. i'll write another post soon about leaving your kid. i know some people dont have sitters. i know some people BF and cant just leave at any time. but... when you can... try it. rekindle that honeymoon phase. talk - about other things than your kid(s). get drunk. lol just make sure your relationship stays on top.

7. girls night. your husband can handle it. i promise. leave for just a few hours (if you can via BFing) and go to the movies, or happy hour, or just get some coffee, get caught up on recent gossip - nothing makes a new mom feel better than starting to feel "normal" again. and if that includes your best girl friends - then do it.

8. nap. now, im the first one to say that i cant nap when the kids nap. hell, my 3 go down at the same time and i STILL putz around, do housework, etc when i KNOW i should be sleeping. so... if you can. rest. try to get an hour of sleep while your kid(s) nap and you'll feel better later. even if its just once a week. plan it and stick to it.

im not one to say "let the house go to shit! you had a baby!!" so plan accordingly. get things done when you can so you can have a stress free nap :)

9. get a hobby. scrapbooking, photography, knitting, making hairbows.. whatever it may be. sometimes new moms (and esp SAHMs) have a feeling of "ugh. all i do is (enter kid stuff here)" and that sucks. do something that makes you feel proud of yourself. i dont care if its collecting stamps and sticking them into a binder - at least you can finish it and say "hey, you did a good job!" boosts of self esteem (and also, a hint of independence) can make anyone feel better.

10. buy something nice. for yourself. for your hard work. so when you look at it you think "yeah, damnit. i deserved that." ;)

you are a good mom. a strong and (likely) patient woman who puts other people before herself. i know how it feels. my day is encompassed with plans for 3 children who i love so much that my heart may explode. but... sometimes... i just want to say "hey me. you do a good job. and for that... i give you ________" and i think thats pretty damn fair.

you have any other great ideas? let me know!!

things i'm no good at.

i can babble on here and make it look as if "omg! life is so easy! look at me!" but, sigh, i think its time to admit some things.

1. i cant cook. well, i should rephrase that. i don't cook. and here's why - first of all, recipes wig me out. like, here is my internal monolog.

ahem.

okkkkkk 1 tsp of salt. wait let me make sure it said 1 tsp. yes. okay oh wait - did it say 1 tsp? phew okay... moving on. 2 cups milk. wait how much did it say? 1 cup? no. 2 cups. okay do i mix it now? yes. wait. no. wait. let me read it again.


see how tense that is? gaaah. and i think it breaks my mom's heart a bit. lol she looks up recipes out of boredom, changes them up for fun, cooks something NEW all the time! etc etc... but when she talks about them to me, well, i sort of zone. ;)

also, aidan likes everything cheese. sawyer can't eat dairy. so if i am already going to make 2 meals then i might as well just do that from the beginning. sigh. i think i need to do a julie/julia intervention :) or maybe some sort of challenge? i dunno - you all help me decide.

2. i have a bad mouth. lol especially in the car. i have GOT to be careful/more aware of this, but it really is so hard. i can keep the eff word down to a minimum, but, uh - asshole? stupid ass? shit? sigh. thats what sawyer's language is so, well, colorful. damnit.

3. im a procrastinator. eh... maybe i'll write this entry tomorrow?








kidding. okay. here's the thing. i have STELLAR intentions. truly. i make a list, check it twice, and then... only get to half. well, thats not totally true. i get to it all - eventually. like, i end up spending an ENTIRE day doing everything that i want to do.

but let me say, this procrastination is not all the time. and its nothing that has to do with the house, my photography, the kids or EJ, etc. its just... the other things i think. instead of lazy, lets say i'm "busy" :)

4. i suck at getting ready early in the day. its not my fault. im partly a 50's hausfrau (minus the cooking of course) and like to look CLEAN when EJ comes home. ;) so my poor kids see momma in PJs without makeup all day (if we arent going anywhere).

5. i cant sit. i cant just hang out and watch tv. well, rarely. this summer was totally annoying when i couldnt get up and go to the gym. i need to get energy out lol

and it gives us a schedule as well. i toted the poor girls to the store almost every morning so we could get out of the house. sitting around and hanging out is done in the afternoons after nap. the mornings just... draaaag without a planned event.

ok. im sure there's more. but thats all i can think of now. my procrastination entry has forced me to go pay bills online and get some photo CDs and mailers done :)