Thursday, September 30, 2010

me time.

after reading so many baby message boards, i realize moms do jack shiz for themselves. its sad. i dont know whether its a martyr complex: "omg. but my baby NEEDS ME all the time!!!" or if they simply dont know how to get away for 5 mins and just... relax. so here are a few ideas that dont take much time (ok, some might, but whatever) that at least give you a few moments of "ahhhh..."

1. take a shower and put your make-up on. do your hair. get dressed. GET READY FOR THE DAY. you have no idea how much better this will make you feel. dont say how tired you are. dont say there's not point "im only going to the store". do it. you will feel pretty. you will feel more "you". and it will be worth it. how many (newborn) months have you worn those same PJ pants when your husband gets home? you've pretty much lost your mascara, havent you? sigh. find it. feel good - look good.

2. go to the gym. or at least workout. the boost you will get will be tremendous. besides the fact that you will have more energy, you will feel/look better in no time. there's something about a good workout that makes you just feel better about yourself. and if youre worried about the daycare at the gym - balls up, dude. find one that you trust and move on. we've been going to the same place since aidan was 5 mo old. sawyer and reese both started the day after they turned 3 months. they know my kids, love them, and i trust them completely.

i also have... wait for it... friends at the gym. omg, right? a whole 1-2 hrs of talking to adults!! yahooo!! that alone is worth the $85/month. the time spent just relaxing and doing something for yourself is worth it.

3. read a book. your kid has to sleep sometime, right? go into your room and read. how good does it feel to forget about anything going on and entrap yourself in a character whom you dont even know. to live their life. to love what they love. to cry when they cry. maybe thats why i was a literature major... to feel how others feel in situations that i will never be in. its amazing. and just relaxing.

4. go to the store alone. you all know that i truly do love to take my 3 to the store. its fun. without them, i get bored. BUT it can be simply surreal to go to the store... and putz. lol go when your husband gets home and the kids are in bed. even if its late ;)

5. buy some skivvies ;) sex it up! on that note, i'll add to this one - have sex. often. even if you dont feel like the sexiest woman in the world - you are. your husband loves you - no matter what (usually. ok im kidding). you may be tired, but just tryyyyyy to get in the mood. once you start, im sure things will progress nicely and you wont forget it.

i never understand when i read that married couples havent had sex in months.

what? how?

youre tired? really? 15-20mins (ok - im underestimating here. or maybe overestimating for you lol) isn't going to kill you. and you'll feel better. sex is a very important part of any marriage. and just throwing it to the side bc "uggghhhh bc i have a BABY!! and i am tired!!" seems so... ridiculous. make out, cuddle, do it. :)

6. go on date nights. i'll write another post soon about leaving your kid. i know some people dont have sitters. i know some people BF and cant just leave at any time. but... when you can... try it. rekindle that honeymoon phase. talk - about other things than your kid(s). get drunk. lol just make sure your relationship stays on top.

7. girls night. your husband can handle it. i promise. leave for just a few hours (if you can via BFing) and go to the movies, or happy hour, or just get some coffee, get caught up on recent gossip - nothing makes a new mom feel better than starting to feel "normal" again. and if that includes your best girl friends - then do it.

8. nap. now, im the first one to say that i cant nap when the kids nap. hell, my 3 go down at the same time and i STILL putz around, do housework, etc when i KNOW i should be sleeping. so... if you can. rest. try to get an hour of sleep while your kid(s) nap and you'll feel better later. even if its just once a week. plan it and stick to it.

im not one to say "let the house go to shit! you had a baby!!" so plan accordingly. get things done when you can so you can have a stress free nap :)

9. get a hobby. scrapbooking, photography, knitting, making hairbows.. whatever it may be. sometimes new moms (and esp SAHMs) have a feeling of "ugh. all i do is (enter kid stuff here)" and that sucks. do something that makes you feel proud of yourself. i dont care if its collecting stamps and sticking them into a binder - at least you can finish it and say "hey, you did a good job!" boosts of self esteem (and also, a hint of independence) can make anyone feel better.

10. buy something nice. for yourself. for your hard work. so when you look at it you think "yeah, damnit. i deserved that." ;)

you are a good mom. a strong and (likely) patient woman who puts other people before herself. i know how it feels. my day is encompassed with plans for 3 children who i love so much that my heart may explode. but... sometimes... i just want to say "hey me. you do a good job. and for that... i give you ________" and i think thats pretty damn fair.

you have any other great ideas? let me know!!


  1. This was a really great list! It *is* so important to take the time for yourself as a mom to recharge, and a lot of mothers seem to let that fall to way-side unfortunately.

    (Oh, and the sex part was very true too. Is it the most important part of a marriage? No. But is it very, very important? Yes - as it should be, lol.)

  2. Thank you for saying this! I needed to hear all of it.

  3. I know! I know! Enroll your child in preschool a year early so you get three hours ALONE three times a week!

    Wait...did I just say that out loud!? Ha!

    Ahhh...I'm such a good mother.

    Fun post, Amanda!

  4. hahah katie. aidan's is 3 days/week for 5 hours! and sawyer's 2 days a week! ;) they love it so much though. and learn a TON!

  5. I could so reply line by line on this one. LOL

  6. You rock! Great post, I have to say I do 9 out of those 10 things often :)

  7. great post. I wish I had the time to do all of this. But, by the time I leave work, go pick up DD from daycare, go home and make dinner, then clean up from dinner while DH gets home and does bath time (he gets home later than I do - by about 1-1.5hrs) then it's time to do the bedtime routine, and by then I am exhausted and veg in front of the tv....then to bed to start all over again the next day! And my DH works Saturdays, so don't get much me time then either....then he is home Sunday but that's our only family day of the week so we usually spend it together. Sometimes I go out on Friday evening with a friend or my Mom without DD and DH......

  8. just came across your blog and you are so right! i reposted your list on my own blog in hopes that i'll try to follow it regularly. :)

  9. YES! i would be a miserable person if i didn't get in my almost daily run -- and i'm almost 20-flipping weeks pregnant! E knows that when he gets home, he's on kid duty until my run is over. if he's lucky, i feed him ;) kidding...he shares cooking duty.

    you need to add that to the list: make your H/SO pull their weight around the house! (esp if you're a working mom).