things ill miss.

ive complained a lot this pregnancy. i am tired, but cant sleep. i have antsy legs, so i go to the gym (which helps!!) annnnd then im worn out. <--- see how much complaining lol

im also crazy. EJ wanted to video tape my *freak out* the other night over dishes in the kitchen -- something that is not even the tiniest of a big deal and i was laughably insane. i went ballistic the other night bc i couldnt find my phone before bed (but needed the alarm for the morn) - so i looked around... and then again... then longer. i finally gave up, got into bed, and there it was ::twitch:: i burst into tears and then laughed so hard with EJ.

last night i had a hamstring cramp so bad that i woke up and cried, probably scaring EJ half to death, and then it wouldnt go away. it was horrible. but then i think about this pregnancy ending and i get so "ho hum" about it.

i will miss:

1. wondering "was that a kick?! is that the baby!!?" at the beginning. no matter how many kids you have - that question (and realization that its prob gas bubbles) is still fun.

2. finding out the gender. even if all the answers have been the same, its still shocking ;) i scheduled an early u/s this time bc i simply LOVE that announcement. EJ was able to come without taking off work, ASR came (and tortured us the entire time lol it was not a relaxing u/s), and i just waited for that moment that finally we could put a gender to the baby. finally pick a definite name.

3. choosing a name. the conversations with EJ, the laughing about choices, bouncing ideas off other people, thinking about how that kid will be, etc. and then, finally, deciding... and calling her that. and telling the kids "who" she is. having aidan and sawyer refer to this one as "miller" is just the best. they love HER already.

4. having the kids and EJ experience things with me. aidan and sawyer have been to several dr appts with me. sawyer isnt as interested as aidan is -- aidan is just... fascinated. she likes to listen to the heartbeat, she loves the ultrasounds, she can tell anyone *where* miller is in my belly (ie: "her heart is here, her head is down here, her legs are over here....) bc she watched the dr :) sawyer and aidan both love my baby belly (although sawyer is more interested in poking my new outtie than anything else lol) and feel kicks. i love when EJ can finally feel her move, too. especially later when my belly can be seen moving from across the room. and he can feel her go nuts in there - like at night when i just want to rock her to sleep inside my belly bc thats when she goes the craziest haha

5. watching my belly move from the outside. it *never* ceases to amaze me. to watch it roll, stick out inches on one side, feel a foot push out and then back, to watch it get soooo big on one side then BAM - move to the other side... its just awesome.

im sure if i had written this post with little bullets throughout the past months, id have a list of 2039482039482. but as someone who still pukes sometimes (and did for about 3+ months the first/second tri), who just wants to take a nap when the girls do - but then, instead, i do laundry and cook dinner (ok. most of the time lol), who still has some business to wrap up before i go on "official" maternity leave (editing, another shoot, prints to go out, sales taxes, and then fed taxes bc i dont want to be doing that in feb lol).... anyway, because of some of those things, im slightly jaded until i get that baby in my arms ;)

oh, and another thing i KNOW i'll miss already -- that 15 mins between pushing out a baby, holding your baby, realizing you have another baby, listening to her cry, seeing her sweet face, all of it.... its surreal. and amazing. and i immediately want to do it again. just those few mins of birth. when you see who youve had months to fall in love with.

im excited to see whats in store for our soon-to-be family of 6. i am already trying to figure out logistics ;) ive said before that i think 1 to 2 kids was the hardest. 2 to 3 wasnt bad (but lets be honest - i had reese. who is THE most laid back cool baby ever - so 2 to 3 might have been horrid). so i am anxious to see 3 to 4. i have a few other friends who *just* had their 4ths and... yeah, its hard! (ok not for one friend - she got a reese for #4 lol lucky duck).

im sure ill continue hilarity on my FB of my ups and downs. most of you see my ::twitch:: and ::kaboom:: from my head exploding on days where i just... cant... handle it LOL but i wouldnt change anything for the world. its all about your attitude :) easier said than done, but i certainly try.

your perfect family.

so we found out yesterday that baby 4 is a GIRL!!! :)

pics posted: http://www.thisyearslovewilllast.com/2011/08/its.html

since then, the comments on wanting a girl have been super interesting. its fascinating to see how people's own views of a "perfect" family are projected on others.

the minute i found out i was pregnant, i wanted another girl. i told my mom a couple of weeks ago that if they said boy, id have that few mins of "oh. hmm." and would need a pick me up. that boys are loud and rough. and that when i go to the chickfila play area, i pray that i'd have a boy different than all other boys. she reminded me about babygap boys clothes and i felt a bit better lol but not totally convinced.

i looked at aidan and sawyer and saw how they are together. remembering that aidan goes to kindy in 2012 and sawyer the year after, how i would love a sister still at the house for reese. swoon. and aidan, ohhhh aidan. yesterday on the way to the u/s we said "well it could be a brother!!!!" all excited that the option was there for her!! and she actually cried ::dies:: "but i want another sister...." well good. God knew :)

i smiled when moms of boys said "you neeeeeed a boy. nothing is like a momma's boy!!" but inside, i knew our house. i know are dynamics. i know we love putting on princess dresses and painting nails (which, of course, a boy could do if he wanted, but from what friends say -- most arent in the mood for that lol) i have 2 friends who are pregnant with their 4th girl and people have actually said *condolences* to them. like "oh man im sorry....". wtf. its insane what comes out of people's mouths sometimes.

when we heard girl yesterday, EJ had that minute of "oh. hmm." by the time we got in the car, we were making jokes and chatting about it and by yesterday afternoon, he was just as excited as me. its okay to be slightly disappointed. i know he thought just maybe, itd be a boy :) but God knows what our family is supposed to be.

ive always said, if i had 3 boys, i would craaaave a girl for the 4th. hell - if i had ONE boy only, id think id want a girl. but now i wonder if thats true. i have friends with boys and they have no interest for a girl, really. i think thats insane - how could you not want a GIRL!? but thats how they look at us and boys :) that reminds me how different everyone is.

we have 4 kids bc we want them. if we were TRYING for a gender, i would have done things to actually try for one or the other lol - like chart, or temp, and have sex on O day only instead of all of the days leading up. there are "methods" for boy and girl making and you'd think if a boy was on our mind we would have, oh, thought about trying those things for fun? lol

4 kids isnt the measure of how many it took to try to get a certain gender. a perfect family is not always a mix. a complete family is different for everyone. this is my family - what i had prayed for. what i had hoped for. there's no reason to believe otherwise. i said up above that EJ had that pang of disappointment ::shrug:: why wouldnt i say the same thing about myself if it were true? haha

so get ready, my friends, for this girl house. ive been reminded that ill need a few more closets and bathrooms, and a lot more patience as they get older ;) we'll see. either way. im excited for whats to come.

crib to bed.

so we all know (well some of you may) that i dont transition from a crib to a bed for a while. if they can get out, i tent. (well, being fully honest, i tent BEFORE they can get out lol i started with aidan bc the cat would sneak into her room. it worked so well, i did it with sawyer, too).

aren't you glad i figured out white balance and focus the past few years? geesh.






and this is what sawyer's room looked like a little over a year ago - soon after we took the glider out, got her a new white dresser, etc.


anyway, when they get a little closer to 3, i give it a chance. basically, when a few months before aidan turned 3, we moved into this house. so we got her this bed



and then let her choose between crib and bed for a while. until she said bed - then we replaced her crb with the dollhouse. then it was fine :)

well, sawyer began to cause, um, trouble with her crib tent. she'd lean on it too much, and uhhh try to SIT up on the ledge of her crib and relax on the crib tent itself LOL so it was time.

sawyer's room is smaller than aidan's so i couldnt fit both a bed and a crib in (like i did with A). we just took the front off of her crib and converted it down.



we put some of her toys in here


and she was happy.


....at first.

she crawled into bed with her blankie and cuddled up. until the storm we're having tonight got louder. she burst into tears (which she'd do even if in her crib) and so i went back in. i read her a book and then tried to leave. nope. "i waaaant you" through the tears. so i brought some toys down from her fun area and tried to get her to play. within mins, she was so scared of the storm, that we had the best/worst idea EVER.

move her to aidan's room.

so now, i have my 4.5 year old and my almost 3 year old in aidan's bed watching madagascar 2. giggling. tattling through the monitor (we swapped the video one in there tonight). and laying in bed <3

we'll they SLEEP there? who knows. but aidan told sawyer not to be scared. that they are best friends. and that "i will 'atect you, sister" (protect. obvs.) so we'll see.

eventually we'd move them together, im sure. and aidan's room is big enough to put sawyer's crib/now toddler bed in so..... ::shrug::

when we have company.

i thought id add a little tidbit of "fun" from a few of the past weekends. i wrote a whole post on discipline back late last summer - and for the most part, it holds 99% true now. but, kids change. and kids also change in different situations.

that brings us to aidan. when company is here. ::twitch::

my fabulous friend pam came into town a few wkends ago. i was so excited to show off my adorable, well-behaved children. bc, for the most part, thats what they are. all 3 are great at the store, they walk nicely in parking lots, i could take them all to a sit down restaurant by myself and be totally fine (ok, unless one has to use the bathroom - then its gets a bit tricky). but these are not the things i had to deal with when pam was here... ohhhh no.

i had to deal with attitude. aidan wanted to show pam who rules the roost. or, let me rephrase - who aidan THINKS rules the roost. most of the wkend, she looked like this:


now. let me give examples. she straight up would talk back, ignore me, do exactly the opposite of what i asked, try to go out to the backyard after i said no (which was solved quickly thanks to a nice top flip lock), and even tried to kick me. wtf. but the funny part of that was that our friend catherine was here too and just laughed at her and said "nope. not impressed." bc she knows what aidan was trying to do.

disclaimer: and i want to say -- its not with any company, yeah yeah her age def makes for a kid who wants to show off. we had a friend come over the other day and over and over, aidan would try to get him to watch her "tricks". like "hey! hey! watch me! i can do a somersault!!" or "look!! i put a hat on the dog!!" which is fine -- bc that is 4.5, but thats not the same as out of towners who they dont know or dont see often.

but at night time, when id lay with her in bed, she was my sweet angel again. we'd talk about how she acted was ridic and blah blah blah, then we'd hug and kiss goodnight and that'd be over. by sunday, i cried to my mom telling her how aidan had never acted like the devil incarnate that she had acted like those few days.

then, within mins of dropping off pam at the airport, sound asleep in the car, aidan was back to this:


ahhhh a nice week with my sweet 4.5 year old back. cuddling, crafts, running errands, and being friends.

til we had more company ::twitch:: EJ's fam came into town for reese's bday party (yay! so much fun btw!) and it started all over. but, i had luckily taken a few things from the wkend before, to heart. and learned a few ideas.

1. i had to take her from the situation completely for her to even realize i existed again. id carry her to the other room, talk to her there, and then she'd realize "oh. mom's talking." as opposed to before when she'd look at me and go back to "impressing" guests. this helped focus and relax her.

2. keep the schedule the same. wake up, nap, bed routine --- everything the same. dont skip baths and expect bed just as easy. dont think you cant read a book or lay in her bed for a few mins bc you have guests. just keep it the same.

3. know that its going to end soon lol i was much more "fine. whatevs." the 2nd wkend bc, well, i knew itd be over and aidan would be back to my little sweet girl.

i only write this post to say "we've all been there!!" we've all been embarrassed by the actions of our kids - that kid thats screaming at dinner in the middle of a crowded restaurant, the mom that is chasing her kid in the parking lot, the kid at playgroup that comes up and hit his mom out of no where - the rest of us aren't (usually) judging you... i usually want to laugh and tell a worse story or at least give you a high 5 and say "kids are great, huh?" because, well, they are -- most of the time.


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also, vote for my other blog, This Year's Love Will Last, while youre there!!

sisters.

i am truly blessed to have 3 girls. i, myself, only have 2 brothers. i never had that "sister relationship" that some girls talk about.

i know that it consists, later, of fighting over clothes, slamming doors, possible hair pulling, etc but for now....

the girls were taking a nap. sawyer starts crying so I grab some diapers to go grab them all and play in the gameroom. a few seconds after sawyer wakes up in tears, aidan yells from her room "its okay sawyer!!"

by then im up the stairs and grab aidan and head to sawyer's room. sawyer gets out of bed and tells aidan: "i need you. i need my sister"

swoon.

i about melt. aidan gives her a hug and sawyer continues: "i missed you aidan. i need a kiss." aidan kisses her and we grab reese and run off to the gameroom.

they may make each other nuts sometimes, but man.... hearing them talk to each other that way makes my heart pitter patter every time.

a little mom.

tonight aidan wanted to help me do the dishes. after i filled up the dishwasher, i still had a few things leftover so she said she'd do them (giggle. its like her favorite thing to do).

but the funny part is the things she says from that chair.

"you guys doing alright in there?" or "everybody okay?" to us in the living room

"daddy! did you hear sawyer peed on the potty at school today?!"

etc.



its her sweet nature.

she's the first one to day "are you alright? are you hurt?" or to ask if you need a bandaid.

she's the sister who, if sawyer is crying, will say "do you want me to make you cozy?" and then hold her in a blanket and sing our "i love you" song.

she puts her baby dolls down for naps. she hears when they cry (lol).

she'll just come over and kiss you for no reason and say that she loves you.

today in the car, sawyer spilled something all over her and so i took the cup away until we could get to "non-movement" again. sawyer cried.

aidan: be nice to my sister, mom.
me: i know - sorry aidan, but she cant have the cup back until we arent moving. that way she wont spill.
aidan: be nice to my sister.
me: haha okay. thanks for being so sweet. i love you.
aidan: well. i love my sister. say sorry to sawyer.
***aidan proceeds to sing i love you song to sawyer***

::sigh::

it wasnt even in a bossy tone lol she just wanted to show me what it will be like if someone messes with the skelte sisters. it won't be pretty.

dont point at me.

oh man i couldnt even control my laughter.

aidan: sawyer can i have some goldfish?
sawyer: nope. they in my BELLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY. (ok, she's mocking her lol)

*aidan hits sawyer*

me: aidan. no. we do not hit our sisters.
EJ: sawyer, are you okay?

*aidan grabs my finger. then goes over and grabs EJ's finger*

aidan: do not point at me. do not point at me and say no.
EJ: aidan, if you hit someone, we will tell you no.

*aidan starts to cry*

aidan: see! you make me cry when you point at me! momma! daddy point at me and it make me cry.

ahhhhh the dramatic life of a 4 year old. do *not* point at her.

wine.

*** aidan talking on her monitor, so i go upstairs so see what she needs ***

aidan: what's that mommy?

me: oh. um. wine.

aidan: oh! that make you feel better?


LOLOL yes. yes it does, kiddo.

YKYAPW (anniversary edition).

so, as you all know, our 3 year wedding anniversary was wednesday - BUT we had plans for going out on saturday. YAY!!

we got all dolled up (sorta lol)

and headed to Silver Fox for dinner. yummm... we had crabcakes and salads... EJ had the strip, i had salmon, we drank Jordan.. it was delish. one of our fab friends made it even more special (thanks, A!!).

so then we get all hyped up to go out. until we get a call from my mom. aidan's fever (which was present, but not a big deal EARLIER in the day - had now gotten up to 103) so we decided to run her in to the after hours pedi by my parents house.



she had 105 there. and strep. sooooo it was nice to know what it was - bc we were able to start meds that night. she didnt want to go home... wanted to stay at my parents. so she did. :)

we tried to finish off the night with a bang. and i got my newest tattoo (can see on link above!) plus i got a star added to my ankle for reese.

we didnt get home til about, oh, 3am? but it was fun. but let me say - you know youre a parent when....

you have to stop a date night to run to urgent care :)

quote of the month.

in the car this morning.

me: daddy took his motorcycle to work.

aidan: he go to work? at the office?

me: yep. he is a stud-muffin.

aidan: yeah, i think he's a stud-donut.


i died from laughing so hard.

daddy at work.

aidan and sawyer have learned "daddy at work" during the week. sometimes they ask in the morning. sometimes sawyer asks "where's daddy?" and aidan tells her "he at work", etc.

aidan has asked "why he go to work?" to which i reply "he has to make us monies!" she asks why and i tell list off things she likes - "for chikfila and target. and pet shops!"

so today at the store i was listening to aidan and sawyer chat. i mentioned i should find my phone bc "daddy might call". sawyer says "daddy at work" and aidan says "yeah, he has to get us monies. he does this..." and then she makes a hand motion of picking things up. as if she really thinks that he leaves the house, drives to "work", and then picks up money from somewhere all day. LOL

i said "wait. babe. do you think he PICKS UP money all day?" she said yes. i giggled and thought - wow, what a job that would be!

at the same time i remembered those birthday parties at skating rinks when youre like, oh, 10? maybe? where you were put in the money box thing where it blew dollar bills around hahaha

aidan's party.

since sawyer just had her bday party - aidan's waiting for hers. in december. sigh.

(in her room after nap)

me: hey we gotta go downstairs. i need a shower.

aidan: what are we doing?

me: huh? i need a shower babe!

aidan: you thinking about my paaaaaarty?

me: haha no! its not for a long time!

aidan: but i NEED IT!!

by the way, as of now, its a princess party. and all the girls have to wear dresses, she says. prepare yourself.

words aidan says wrong.

that i just love. part 1 of lots i'm sure.

"louder" instead of "ladder".

ie: look momma! i climbed up my louder!

"hairy" instead of "heavy".

ie: (struggling while carrying something) oh this is SO HAIRY!!

"a 'dea" instead of "an idea".

ie: oooh i having a dea!

"race" instead of "line".

ie: you put those cups/books/etc in a race?

in case you needed some more convincing.

of why 2 under 2 is fabulous.

watch the girls here.

2under2. twice.

aidan and sawyer are 19.5 months apart.

sawyer and reese are 21.5 months apart.

perfect, in my opinion. and i would not have it any other way :)

some days are crazy. some days i want to curl up and sleep. some days are filled with 100% fun. some days are lazy. some days are busy with errand after errand. but EVERY day is filled with sisterly love.

its amazing to watch, really. aidan and sawyer are the best of friends.


they love reese. if you were at my house and said goodbye to A and S and didnt say goodbye to reese - they would remind you.

they kiss and hug each other for no reason. or just walk up to reese and tickle her. i love having close in age sisters (well right now at least. talk to me when they are 13, almost 15, and 16.5 haha)

anyway, there a few things that i've learned in the past few years that helped me transition into life with 2 under 2. twice.

1. chinese fire drill. well, thats what it sort of seems like getting kids in and out of the car. now i put reese in, aidan gets in and does her chest clip, i get sawyer in, then i reach and finish aidan's buckle. phew. but getting OUT is a different story. i grab reese's bucket and unhook aidan. then they both come with me to sawyer's side. aidan has been taught to "hold the car". always. i started doing this so long ago and now it is 2nd nature).

2. one thing that i always tried to remember when having a toddler and a newborn is: if both kids are sad - grab the toddler first. your newborn wont remember that it took you 5 seconds to hug your toddler. but your toddler WILL remember that you picked the new baby first.

3. when feeding the baby, have a box or bag or something new and fun for your toddler. something that you bring out only when you are feeding the baby so your toddler has something fun to do! new markers, paper, fun stickers, etc... it will distract them from the fact that you have to take a few mins to tend to someone else (when, i mean, theyve never had that before lol).

4. give your oldest jobs for the baby. my kids love to help pick out clothes, get diapers and even FEED reese :)


and its worth it to let them try to do all of those things - bc then they feel so wanted. when i was BFing reese, i gave aidan the job to tickle her feet so reese would stay awake! lol something simple, but she felt a "part" of it all.

5. prepare. and prepare early enough so your older kid has no idea things are related to the new baby. if youre gonna switch rooms, switch beds, take away the bottle or paci (thats for another post though lol) then do it long before your due date.

6. dont give too much freedom too early. i know a lot of people think "oh yay! i'll let my 18 month old stand in the cart!!" ok, well great, now what are you going to do when you dont want to wear your newborn and you want to put the bucket in there? or "woohoo! my 16 mo old can walk next to me at the store!" ok, cool - so how exactly are you going to chase him when he decides to walk the other way when you have a newborn sitting right there?

but then again, im of the vein "if it ain't broken - dont fix it". i keep my kids in carts until they straight up can step out themselves. lol my kids stay in cribs until they want to have a bed. ::shrug::

7. when walking into a store or somewhere, every kid has to be touching me or part of the group while walking. right now, i carry sawyer AND the bucket and aidan holds on to reese's seat. but if i wanted sawyer to walk then she'd be holding my hand while i held the bucket and aidan held that. i get twitchy when i see toddlers just putzing along without hold on to anyone.

8. make sure you make time for yourself. shower every day. get ready and GO OUT! 2u2 will make your head spin if you sit at home every day. put on some makeup - even if youre not in the mood to. go get a mani/pedi during naptime when your dh is home. SOMETHING for yourself.

im lucky bc i get to do things pretty much whenever i want to. of course i dont always want to ;) but if a friend asked me out for drinks one night - then likliness would be high that i could/would go. at least for a little bit. if i didnt have relaxation time - i would go nuts. even when friends come over, its such a fun nice release :)

9. schedule your day. essentially, 2u2 is no different than 1 (routine wise) if you have a rough schedule. youre just adding one more body. 1 more kid to feed. 1 more to change and get dressed. 1 more kid to bathe and put to bed. its a lot easier to take in if you look at it that way. our routine is crucial to our day. it can be as lax as "craft or store in the mornings" but something IS more or less "planned". we aren't just putzing around (most of the time) all willy nilly ;)

10. have fun. just relax. if you need to do housework - do it as a game. fold laundry together and talk about colors. have a ball mopping the floor and giggling. whatever it takes - have fun :)

missing daddy.

(when i went up to get aidan after nap)

me: guess what we're doing this evening?

aidan: (excited) gonna go pick up daddy at the airport?!

me: yep! are you gonna hug him?

aidan: yes. i loves him.

me: me too. he is my best friend.

aidan: you want to kissss him?

me: mmhmmm.

aidan: you want to hug him?

me: oh yes.

aidan: me too. we all want to kiss him.

turn the lights on me.

me: hey aidan, did you see this pic?

*i show her this one*


aidan: wait! turn the lights on me!
me: haha what?
aidan: the picture. turn the lights on!


lol she doesn't appreciate black and white photography yet ;)

sick. then better.

aidan puked last night. at about 1:15am. i heard her sort of cry (i was awake bc i just fed reese) and then she burst into tears. i went to her room, she told me "i pukied, momma" and i got EJ. i laughed walking down the stairs thinking, "really? more puke?" he stripped the bed and re-made it while i gave her a bath, gave her meds, and we got her back in bed.

i could see her eyes glass over asking about 1 of her scooze-dogs having to be in the wash.

this morning she had a fever, i gave her more tylenol and she laid around. she nearly lost it when we had to put scooze into the dryer. but she liked when he was all clean. :) she likes to smell fresh laundry (well, she likes to smell anything good really lol) so she was happy.

after nap, i went up to get her.

me: hey did you pukey?
aidan: no. no pukey.
(i check her head)
me: yay no fever!
aidan: yeah. i not sick anymore!
me: wow, im so happy.
aidan: hug!
(hugs all around)
aidan: look at my belly!
(i lift up her shirt)
aidan: my belly is SO happy :) i all better.

of course, she's not ALL better. but i am glad that she hasnt yacked since this early morning.

explaining sick.

on our way to target to meet my mom.

aidan: papa coming?

me: no, sorry babe, he's sick.

aidan: he sick like sawyer?

me: no. he has a cough like this ::fake cough::

aidan: ooooh. [thinks for a min] why?

me: well, because he caught a bug.

aidan: oh!! [confused] in his mouth?

:) i like thinking she thinks my dad ate a bug.

3 kids. 3.5 years.

i decided im starting an actual blahg, blog. like, one with words instead of pictures. part of the reason is bc when im on mom message boards, i get sick and tired of typing out the same thing over and over again. so, its like a quick reference guide for that.

the other reason is because now, starting with the birth of #3, i sort of want to chronicle the differences in how i parented all 3. lol i mean, what i didnt do, what i did/didnt need, as well as the funny things that happen along the way.

this blog may end up a huge fail. i may stop in a few days, but i doubt it - or rather, i hope not. i feel like im missing a huge part by not writing down the funny things they say, the every day banter, and i'd also like to remember "what did i do in that situation?". so here's where i'll put it.

i should start off by introducing myself and my family. most people reading this will know me as amanda or, possibly, punkfiction. lol i'm a (just turned) 27 year old mom of 3.


my husband, EJ, and i have been married for 3 years this coming august - so yes, life has been busy. and i have loved [almost] every min of it ;)

(excuse his horrible "didnt do it bc we were up at 5am to go to the hospital" hair)


he is my best friend and we complement each other in the most amazing ways. i am more than just lucky to have such an amazing husband and fabulous relationship.

our oldest daughter, aidan, is 3.5.



she is my heart. she wears her emotions on her sleeve and is sensitive and caring. she holds your hand when you look sad. she rubs your head if youre sick. i remember she happened to be at the u/s that confirmed our m/c last summer - not even knowing what was going on, she came up to the table i was laying on, held my hand, and said "its okay momma". love.

she is obstinate and vocal. she remembers EVERYTHING. she says the funniest things in the world. she plays on her laptop and tells me "i checking my facebook momma" and asks me every morning "what we doing today?" (if i cant think of anything, like a girl after my own heart, she recommends starbucks and target). she is my oldest. she will always have that special "buddy" place in my heart - to be shared by others, but never replaced.

our middle daughter, sawyer, is almost 23 months old.



she is my soul. she is our comedian and i never would have thought it. starting off as the baby who would look at you like "wtf" when you waved at her, her nickname of "the judger" is still intact as well. she has no problem letting you know with her many disapproving faces that she is unimpressed with something. but not food, she, at 25% weight or so (but tall) has a never-ending black hole for a stomach. its actually fascinating to see. she has a word for everything and is the biggest copy-cat of all time. and with most toddlers, you say it once, she remembers and has found a new word/phrase.

she is my toughie. never needing a bandaid (unlike aidan who wears them bc she feeeeels hurt lol) and rarely needing a comforting hug after a nasty fall. she will jump/fall from anything. no fear. just like her daddy. but, sawyer does not lack emotion or heart. instead of "up" she says "hug you..." when she wants you to pick her up. she will sit in your lap with her "bankie! and paci!!" for a long time. she will holler after everyone else goes to bed just to come down and spend 15-20 mins with EJ and i alone - and we are more than happy to oblige. she's a cuddler who will take a break to get up and steal aidan's toy. she purposely does things to annoy her older sister and you cant do anything but giggle at her genius schemes. middle child syndrome she lacks. personality she does not.

our youngest daughter, reese, is 1 month old tomorrow.



soon i will write a longer entry about her - as we get to know her better, but i'll tell you want i *do* know. i know she is gorgeous and perfect in every way. i know she loves to cuddle. and i know she thinks our bed is the bee's knees. lol :) i know she likes to sleep (haha for now?) and i know she'd rather be left alone to do so as she eyes you and gets slightly annoyed to be held while the other 2 want to point out her nose or give her sweet, sweet kisses. i also know that i love her. your heart grows with the more children you have - thats for sure.

a parent's love is whole no matter how many times divided. ~robert brault

as i get to know her more, i have a few educated guess about what i may see: that she will have quite a personality, that she and her sisters will be friends and enemies all in the same breath, but that they will love each other beyond what i can even comprehend. i dont know if reese will be like the other 2 or exactly opposite, but i cannot wait to find out.



so there you go. we have all been introduced. now im off to figure out what topics i will write about first. all while i make sure i use this blog for a diary (of words, not pics. i already have that HERE.) for things my children do - the good, the bad, and how i handle it all as a stay at home mom of 3 under 4.

let me know if there's anything specific you think would be good to add.