sawyer and reese are 21.5 months apart.
perfect, in my opinion. and i would not have it any other way :)
some days are crazy. some days i want to curl up and sleep. some days are filled with 100% fun. some days are lazy. some days are busy with errand after errand. but EVERY day is filled with sisterly love.
its amazing to watch, really. aidan and sawyer are the best of friends.
they love reese. if you were at my house and said goodbye to A and S and didnt say goodbye to reese - they would remind you.
they kiss and hug each other for no reason. or just walk up to reese and tickle her. i love having close in age sisters (well right now at least. talk to me when they are 13, almost 15, and 16.5 haha)
anyway, there a few things that i've learned in the past few years that helped me transition into life with 2 under 2. twice.
1. chinese fire drill. well, thats what it sort of seems like getting kids in and out of the car. now i put reese in, aidan gets in and does her chest clip, i get sawyer in, then i reach and finish aidan's buckle. phew. but getting OUT is a different story. i grab reese's bucket and unhook aidan. then they both come with me to sawyer's side. aidan has been taught to "hold the car". always. i started doing this so long ago and now it is 2nd nature).
2. one thing that i always tried to remember when having a toddler and a newborn is: if both kids are sad - grab the toddler first. your newborn wont remember that it took you 5 seconds to hug your toddler. but your toddler WILL remember that you picked the new baby first.
3. when feeding the baby, have a box or bag or something new and fun for your toddler. something that you bring out only when you are feeding the baby so your toddler has something fun to do! new markers, paper, fun stickers, etc... it will distract them from the fact that you have to take a few mins to tend to someone else (when, i mean, theyve never had that before lol).
4. give your oldest jobs for the baby. my kids love to help pick out clothes, get diapers and even FEED reese :)
and its worth it to let them try to do all of those things - bc then they feel so wanted. when i was BFing reese, i gave aidan the job to tickle her feet so reese would stay awake! lol something simple, but she felt a "part" of it all.
5. prepare. and prepare early enough so your older kid has no idea things are related to the new baby. if youre gonna switch rooms, switch beds, take away the bottle or paci (thats for another post though lol) then do it long before your due date.
6. dont give too much freedom too early. i know a lot of people think "oh yay! i'll let my 18 month old stand in the cart!!" ok, well great, now what are you going to do when you dont want to wear your newborn and you want to put the bucket in there? or "woohoo! my 16 mo old can walk next to me at the store!" ok, cool - so how exactly are you going to chase him when he decides to walk the other way when you have a newborn sitting right there?
but then again, im of the vein "if it ain't broken - dont fix it". i keep my kids in carts until they straight up can step out themselves. lol my kids stay in cribs until they want to have a bed. ::shrug::
7. when walking into a store or somewhere, every kid has to be touching me or part of the group while walking. right now, i carry sawyer AND the bucket and aidan holds on to reese's seat. but if i wanted sawyer to walk then she'd be holding my hand while i held the bucket and aidan held that. i get twitchy when i see toddlers just putzing along without hold on to anyone.
8. make sure you make time for yourself. shower every day. get ready and GO OUT! 2u2 will make your head spin if you sit at home every day. put on some makeup - even if youre not in the mood to. go get a mani/pedi during naptime when your dh is home. SOMETHING for yourself.
im lucky bc i get to do things pretty much whenever i want to. of course i dont always want to ;) but if a friend asked me out for drinks one night - then likliness would be high that i could/would go. at least for a little bit. if i didnt have relaxation time - i would go nuts. even when friends come over, its such a fun nice release :)
9. schedule your day. essentially, 2u2 is no different than 1 (routine wise) if you have a rough schedule. youre just adding one more body. 1 more kid to feed. 1 more to change and get dressed. 1 more kid to bathe and put to bed. its a lot easier to take in if you look at it that way. our routine is crucial to our day. it can be as lax as "craft or store in the mornings" but something IS more or less "planned". we aren't just putzing around (most of the time) all willy nilly ;)
10. have fun. just relax. if you need to do housework - do it as a game. fold laundry together and talk about colors. have a ball mopping the floor and giggling. whatever it takes - have fun :)
Great set-up! Thanks for this. My questions though are - if you're at the store and both girls want to walk, and thus have to hold your hand/bucket seat, how can you push the cart?
ReplyDeleteAlso, don't you think A continues to hold the bucket seat mainly because of her own unique personality? You mention often she's sensitive/likes to be near you, so what about the toddler that's the complete opposite and would laugh at the thought of having to hold his mom's hand?
both girls don't walk. lol i just wouldnt let it happen. IDEALLY, i would get a cart out in the parking lot and drop sawyer in the cart, reese in the big cart part, and aidan walks. BUUUT its too hot here not to get a cart. so i carry sawyer and bucket in. she doesn't have an option. and since its never been an option - she doesn't care. (they also have those BIG carts at target where the 2 toddler sized kids have seats, kwim?)
ReplyDeletesawyer HAS tried to walk at the store, but i just deal with her whines for a few mins and say "sorry kiddo. you have to sit in the cart!"
and A is good bc its me - she is not the same when we're with EJ. just tonight we went to the store and she ran off - thinking it was a game. she would never (or rather has never so far) done that with me. she *is* sensitive, but she's at an age where she tests my patience more often than not ;) i think its just habit though? i assume she holds my hand BECAUSE thats all we've done.
we also choose stores according to aidan's mood sometimes. if she's in a great mood, maybe we'll go somewhere where she can push her own little cart. if she's in a crap mood but i HAVE to get something - we'd go where she can watch tv in the cart (ive only been there 2 or 3x though bc those carts are no good with a bucket).
let me know if you have any other questions!! :)
If you don't mind my asking, are your kiddos pretty easy going? My two are SO difficult... reflux, colic, you name it. I just wonder how people do with with more than two, when/if the babies and toddlers are difficult.
ReplyDeleteehhhh easy going? no. have i figured out some of their quirks? yes.
ReplyDeleteive said before that aidan is a "routine queen". she is not "easy going" if you mean "you can do things when you want to do them and oops, changed your mind! no biggie!!"... but she IS very fun/pleasant, etc when i prepare her. i tell her where we are going. in order. i remind her of the plan. so then, yes, she is easy going. she knows what to expect. and then she *is* as easy going as that means.
sawyer is "easy going" as long as youve timed it correctly. she will cry the entire time if you are out too close to nap. she will fling herself around, whine, holler out... but i learned my lesson and make sure she's in bed in time.
babies are just different though - so though you may have a reflux/colic baby... when they get older, who knows how they'll be. those things dont have to do with how "easy" they'll be, kwim?
dont get frustrated quite yet ;) try to keep a routine with them and they'll likely be a lot of fun to take out!
(and as for reese, yes. lol she just chills right now haha)
Please tell me I can do this lol. 2U2 seems like my worst nightmare right now. Like something unattainable on another universe.
ReplyDeleteof COURSE you can :) its really not that bad. really - routine is key. start it now and it will smooth sailing later.
ReplyDeleteI only have one, but have already started telling him to hold on to the car when we are unloading. I doubt he understands me, but I hold his hand to the car until he can learn to do it himself. AWESOME idea, btw.
ReplyDeleteAnd in the pic of S feeding R, I love that her shoes are on the wrong feet. ;)
Your girls are beautiful.
haha her shoes are my fave part :)
ReplyDeleteand thank you!
This is the reflux lady again! :-) Thanks for the advice. I definitely have a routine going (my first son is 23 months and my second son is two months), but DS #2 can't be put down without crying EVER and DS #1 is busy busy (which I know is normal for his age). I think that we just have tough (er) babies and sometimes I wonder if we're the only ones! Although DH is wonderful as far as support goes, he is done done done with two, while I would like just one more down the road. (Granted our first was born 10 weeks early and our second was born one month early, so we had an interesting start from the get-go... and I can see his point about not wanting to play with fire here). Anyway, I will keep the faith. Thanks!
ReplyDeletelol hey, you are stronger than me! i cannot imagine that type of situation, but you prove it can be done! hopefully your 2 month old quits that reflux LOL and you can have smooth sailing from then on :) good luck and PLEASE add any advice you have for other moms in your same situation!
ReplyDeleteThanks again and I WISH I had advice other than we simply stick to a routine that works (as you said) and take each day as it comes! :-) I can only imagine how nuts I will be once I go back to work (both DH and I are teachers and have summers off, thank goodness). Your LO's are adorable, btw!
ReplyDeleteLike you my kiddos were always in the basket. Now that they are six and eight they stay by my side w/o a problem. It also bothers me when I see a toddler wandering freely around a store. Also when I see kids around my kids age running up and down the aisle like crazy monkeys. So like you said if you start something at a young age it becomes second nature:)
ReplyDeleteI love your girls names. My name is Ryanne, pronounced Ryan and my lil sisters name is Aidan.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this! My first two are 25 months and 11 months old, and I'm expecting #3 in March (a big surprise), and so far your blog is the ONLY thing keeping me from panicking. I will definitely be checking back often, as you seem to really have things under control!
ReplyDeletegood luck to you!! :) let me know if you have any "wait how do you..." q's. bc sometimes is nice to just see what other people do - even if its totally off the wall or not your style, kwim?
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to read this post, especially since mine will be about 20 months apart!
ReplyDelete:) you'll love the spacing, lisa. its so much fun.
ReplyDeleteI love your "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" advice. So true!! My 22 month old used to be totally content to sit in the cart when we were in a store. Then husband started giving him rides on his shoulder instead which soon lead to allowing him to walk along side the cart on his own. Baby number two will be here any day now and, needless to say, I'm now totally screwed in the shopping with two under two category! UGH.
ReplyDelete