im more so talking about the randoms. the ones in the playgroup you went to once. the mom at the park. the moms in the pediatricians waiting room. THOSE moms.
1. the show-offs. i was at the pedi's office the other day and this mom kept asking her 3ish-year old "what is an 8 sided shape?" he ignored her. she asked again. he shouted "CIRCLE!" i giggled. mainly bc im certain be probably knew it was octagon, but she was trying to be a showoff, and too bad it didnt work out for her ;) sit down, read a magazine, let your kid play. what is the purpose of quizzing him in the dr's office waiting room? nada.
2. those who talk to my kids. and expect a massive response. my kids don't know you, dude. so quit looking at me awkwardly when my 2 talkative toddlers become silent when you ask them a question. and, please, STOP talking to them after you notice "hey. these kids dont want to chat." bc otherwise i have to sit there and say "oh. sorry. yes she is 3. and she is 2.... oh i know! we've been busy!.... well, my husband has dark auburn hair. haha yep! im blonde (as you can see)...." etc etc. its annoying.
3. the ones who don't wrangle their children. i dont mind if your kid wants to oogle my baby. truly. but if your kid pushes or hits one of mine - i will rail. and by rail i mean kindly tell him/her to please not hit my child. along the same lines, when you, as a parent, see a sign like this:
(ripped from google images)
it truly means that your 13 year old wild ass child cannot play on the f'in slides. they cannot push through the toddlers and preschoolers to jump around on a play structure that is not MEANT for them. and, as you might guess, i have no problem telling a tween to get the hell off the play area.
4. one-uppers. please refer to my last post about "things i dont care about". its likely, when you (as a one-upper) speaks - i zone out and think "omg. i dont care about what youre telling me". bc honestly, whatever age your child PT'd. or sang his ABCs. or memorized 1-10... i.don't.care. so if you are asking me "when did your child ______" to simply "out do" me. save it. i am not impressed.
5. the judgers and know-it-alls. i am a part of this group. i wont deny that. but that doesn't mean im not allowed to be annoyed when other people do it ;) that is my prerogative, my friends. the moms at the park who look at me with a stink eye bc my kid had a sip of my beverage. or who cringe bc i brought pretzels for a snack and not carrot sticks. if youre going to judge - make it good. those things are not good. also, if you have a 10 month old and you are judging something that i do as a mother for my 3.5 year old - i will only, truly, snicker in yo' face.
6. the over-sharing mom. listen. i am a nice person. i will always smile and listen to what you have to say. but please - dont tell me about sex with your husband, the type of shit your kid had, or the huge fight you got into with your mom unless we are actually, um, friends. then in that case... pleeeassee do tell! :) but all your jibber jabber at the park is going to do is leave me empty since i'll likely never hear how your drama turned out or i'll see you again and have to think about "that time you told me ______." just don't do it to me.
so. that is that. :) add your own "THAT MOM" you despise.
You've met my neighbors? LMAO
ReplyDeleteThank you for this.
This is kind of included in the one-upper category, but I CANNOT stand the moms that think their child (who is 4 or under) can do absolutely no wrong and is a genius. I just want to say, "Look lady. Just because your kid can sing Itsy Bitsy Spider and fumble the hand motions in a clumsy manner doesn't imply that your child is gifted."
ReplyDeleteOr the lady who has a child that is out of control and lets them scream, wail,run around, knock things over color on walls, pull other childrens hair etc. who says something along the lines of "Little Janie is just so creative and she expresses her creativity in different ways than other children. I let her do this because I don't want to damage her spirit" (insert my big eye roll here) News flash, your kid is being a brat, not exerting creative energy.
The worst type of "Mom" is the woman who tells you how to raise your children when they don't have any. Spend a week or two living my life with my child and then MAYBE I will let you tell me that letting her wear an outfit that may not match perfectly but she proudly picked out herself is an unacceptable outfit to wear to the gas station. Or when her bedtime should be. Or what kind of play groups to put her in. Or whatever.
Lol.... This was great Amanda! Love your blogs! :)
Nikki
We can add this to the 'show offs' category...
ReplyDeleteThe mom who's daughter was a child model when she was 3 or 4 y.o. and the child is now 10, please stop telling me about how she was just the best most beautiful model ever. I'm sure she was in your eyes. Doesn't everyone think their children are the most beautiful? We just don't mention it every 5 minutes. Or find a way to 'insert here' into a conversation every time we see you. She's 10, and now in her awkward phase. So please file this story in the 'i've already told her a billion times' file and never mention it again. Thanks!!
:)
Your post made me laugh! So glad I have a "new" funny blog to read. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd, hey...you feed your kids PRETZELS!! I could totally hang out with you. hehe
We miss you at the gym, and thanks for friending me!
Amen to number three! To that I'd also like to add "And for the love of GOD, at least wash your overgrown beast of a 6 year old's feet before you set him loose to wreak havoc on the toddler play area. If there is dirt under his toe nails, it's been way too long since he's had a bath!"
ReplyDeleteAnd pretzels are a healthy snack in my book. I wouldn't look twice. ;-)